September 29, 2021 |Gideon

 

7 Simple Actions for How To Build Emotional Connection with A Woman

When you’re in a love relationship, it’s important to behave in ways that will help the relationship last. In this post, we look at 7 simple actions for how to build emotional connection with a woman specifically.

You will discover that actions like holding hands together, looking into each other’s eyes, having special dates, and planning a get-away together are all wonderful methods to enhance your emotional intimacy.

Other effective strategies also include things like being honest about your feelings, listening well, and having an equal partnership.

how to build emotional connection with a woman

Implementing these following action steps will help you build emotional connection with a woman and strengthen your bond:

Hold Hands When You’re Out Together.

Apart from it feeling good to demonstrate your love for one another, when you hold hands with a woman, you show her and the world that the two of you are a closely connected couple.

Holding hands is a great way to express your love for each other with a range of benefits that will deepen the bond you have with your partner.

An article on LifeHack.org shares how new studies continue to explore the positive psychological effects of human touch today, and as such, is a powerful action for how to build an emotional connection with a woman.

The article explores seven benefits of holding hands:

Holding hands relieves stress.

The stress hormone cortisol is reduced when you hold hands with your partner. 

Stress can be relieved physically and mentally with only a single touch of the hand because cortisol increases our skin’s sensitivity, and therefore, the touch of someone else’s hand has a bigger effect.

That is because the hands and fingers contain the greatest number of nerve endings.

It increases affection & bonding.

Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that helps couples communicate and empathise, which is associated with long-term happiness.

Holding hands with your significant other will improve the quality of your relationship by strengthening your connection.

Couples that are happy in their relationships have a habit of holding hands without even realising it because of their nervous systems.

how to build emotional connection with a woman

It causes the release of the feel-good hormone oxytocin.

Holding hands is heart-healthy

You can reduce your risk of heart disease by holding your partner’s hand and relieving stress.

If you care about someone, hold their hand and feel the soothing sensation in your heart.

According to a study published in the Behavioral Medicine journal, warm contact has healing properties that go beyond the cardiovascular system.

Hand holding lessens pain

We, humans, have a built-in inclination to clench our muscles when we’re in pain or stressed.

Husbands are frequently present in the delivery room when their wives are giving birth so they can hold her hand through the process.

Handholding is instinctive for us as humans since it makes it easier to endure pain when you are with the person you love.

Hand holding combats fear

Adrenaline is created by the human brain in response to unexpected stimuli, which raises our blood pressure and leads our bodies to release large amounts of the stress hormone cortisol.

Holding hands with someone you know, and trust is a common reaction in these kinds of situations.

So when we’re in scary or uncertain situations, holding each other’s hand is a natural way to deal with our nerves.

Holding hands offers security

When young toddlers are held tightly, they feel comfortable and secure.

Having a helping hand can help us get past insecurities and hurdles, and that’s especially true for children.

When parents hug their children close and make them feel safe, it has a positive impact on their behaviour and thinking, which helps them develop into well-balanced, confident individuals.

Furthermore, the feeling of security is reciprocal: parents feel safer when they can grab hold of their children.

Naturally, this also extends to romantic relationships.

Holding hands as couples gives us a sense of feeling safe and secure which goes a long way in building an emotional connection with each other.

Holding hands feels good.

Everyone enjoys the feeling of being comfortable.

And the experience of holding hands typically bring a sense of comfort while talking or taking a walk with a loved one.

In a nutshell, holding hands with someone you care about feels good, which in the end, add to the overall feeling of the relationship and the emotional connection a couple has with each other.

So, if you want to deepen your emotional bond with your significant other, start with this practical action of holding hands more frequently because physical contact (nonsexual) goes a long way in building an emotional connection with a woman.

Another action you can take to deepen the emotional bond you have as a couple, which is probably even more potent than handholding, is through making eye contact.

Look Into Your Partner’s Eyes When You Talk to Her.

As life gets busy, it’s easy to forget to do the little things, like gaze into your partner’s eyes.

However, one of the most powerful ways for how to build emotional connection with a woman (or any person for that matter), is through making intentional eye contact.

If you make it a point to look into your partner’s eyes when you speak to her, the two of you will most likely deepen your emotional bond and as a result, improve your relationship.

On a psychological level, maintaining prolonged eye contact can be beneficial in a variety of ways in your romantic relationship.

how to build emotional connection with a woman

To begin, your eyes are a highly visible expression of your emotions, which you can no doubt guess is critically important for how to build emotional connection with a woman (and other people).

It has been suggested that humans can tell how others are feeling by observing their eyes, according to a study published in 2017. As a result, eye contact facilitates emotional bonding.

Direct eye contact (gazing) was also observed to boost amygdala activity in a small study conducted in 2013 with fifteen subjects. This is the area of your brain that deals with facial expressions and other people’s emotions when you’re talking to them.

Thus, when you look into your partner’s eyes when talking to her (or when she is talking to you) you are inadvertently strengthening the emotional connection you have with her in several ways…

Firstly, making eye contact builds trust with her.

If you want to communicate honestly and openly, make eye contact.

If you avoid making eye contact, your partner can easily assume you’re lying even if you’re not.

So, the ability to maintain eye contact, therefore, is critical in all relationships, but it is especially critical in romantic ones.

When you’re in a relationship with a woman, therefore, since they seem to value a sense of security, stability, and safety very highly in romantic relationships, making eye contact with her frequently can help establish a deeper emotional bond.

Basically, in order to appear more trustworthy and truthful, you have to make eye contact with your spouse.  That will also encourage more honest dialogue, which is hugely important if you’re serious about deepening an emotional connection with a woman.

Verbal communication is crucial when connecting with females, unlike males for the most part who tend to connect through action or doing things.

Furthermore, some research suggests that keeping eye contact encourages others to be truthful.

Essentially, making eye contact increases overall honesty as well as warmth, personability, and likeability, all of which will improve your communication and overall relationship as a couple.

Secondly, making eye contact can strengthen your emotional bond.

Many relationship therapists and intimacy coaches suggest eye contact activities help couples bond.

That usually involves sitting across from your spouse (in a comfortable location), setting a timer for 5-10 minutes, and looking into each other’s eyes the entire time.

These activities are designed to improve feelings of connection, compassion, and support in a relationship.

Although initially challenging and even awkward, committing to gazing in each other’s eyes for an extended period of time, will force you to visually and symbolically view your spouse, build trust, and establish emotional connection and closeness.

Without saying anything.

how to build emotional connection with a woman

Focusing on your partner’s eyes for this long will help you feel more connected.

Now, the good news is that you can obviously do this whenever you want since you don’t need marriage counselling for it.

Simply set the timer and start.

Now, if five minutes intimidates you, start with smaller chunks of time.

Some relationship experts recommend aiming for two minutes, but you can also work up to that if even that amount of time seems daunting.

The point of this exercise, however, is to get you into the habit of looking into your partner’s eyes for long periods of time.

What I’ve noticed over the years, either working with coaching clients or in my own marriage, is that couples’ eye contact seems to diminish over time the longer we are together.

Perhaps it is the result of a busy life or getting used to each other, but whatever the reason, eye contact is a habit we must sustain in our relationships because it’s quite helpful for developing a strong emotional connection.

Thirdly, eye contact is a love chemistry booster

A pair of 1989 studies indicated that prolonged eye contact (at least two minutes) leads the body to release phenylethylamine, a chemical linked to love.

PEA, or phenylethylamine, is a natural amphetamine that typically emerges in the heart-racing sense of new love.

Dopamine (a pleasure hormone) and norepinephrine (a stress/flight hormone) are also released when PEA is consumed.

In other words, while PEA probably won’t keep you in love, eye contact can improve romantic chemistry, at least temporarily, which is crucial for feeling a close physical and emotional bond with our partners.

Without romantic chemistry, we essentially end up in a relationship that is more a type of friendship than an intimate relationship.

Fourthly, eye contact enhances sex-chemistry

Leading on from the previous point, intensive, intimate eye contact has been shown to increase sexual arousal and make sex more intimate.

For example, making eye contact during sexual intercourse tends to huge intensify the experience and overall enjoyment of sex.

Many couples complain about unfulfilled or unsatisfying sex lives because they get stuck in a boring sex routine that includes a lack of intimate eye contact.

You can change all that almost instantly by doing something as simple as making eye contact during sex.  

Eye contact can also cause the release of dopamine, which makes sex even more pleasurable and exciting.

However, incorporating eye contact during sex can be challenging at first, and your partner may be surprised if you just start staring into their eyes.

how to build emotional connection with a woman

It may help to discuss increasing eye contact during sex or holding eye contact for extended periods of time, before freaking her out.

You can start with short stints of eye contact which can definitely help and grow from there.

Furthermore, doing that will not only massively improve your experience of sex but will also enhance feelings of vulnerability.

Now, that might sound negative at first but it’s actually a positive.

Increased vulnerability leads to increased connection, trust, and closeness, which can lead to better communication with your partner and feelings of more intimate physical closeness, all of which builds an emotional connection with a woman.

Keep Your Relationship Fresh by Scheduling a Special Date Each Week.

Tony Robbins is known for talking about the importance of basic human needs in relationships.

He argues that we need certainty to feel safe, but we also need uncertainty to feel captivated by our relationship.

That is what this point is about – ensuring there is enough variety, playfulness, surprise, change of pace, and uncertainty in your relationship to keep things fresh and enjoyable.

Variety also has the added benefit in that it feeds our need for growth, both personally and as a couple.

That is particularly important because one of the major reasons couples end up divorcing is because they grow apart according to some experts.

So, knowing how to build emotional connection with a woman also entails knowing how to ensure their need for variety and uncertainty is met constantly.

For example, you could organise something special for the two of you ahead of time.

The fact that you were thinking about what the two of you could do to relax and enjoy each other’s company (note: alone without the kids or other people) after a long week at work will be greatly appreciated by your partner and help hugely to deepen your emotional connection and intimacy.

Plan a Get-Away Together.

This idea about how to build emotional connection with a woman naturally follows on from the previous point about the need of meeting variety in your relationship.

This is a more developed version of the previous suggestion.

Nothing, in my opinion, improves intimacy like planning and going on a romantic getaway with your significant other.

Discuss where you want to go and what you want to do when you get there with your partner because being excited and looking forwards to visiting a new destination with your partner that neither of you has ever visited before could do wonders for your overall mood and level of excitement.

Even if you live near the coast, you could take a road trip together and stay for one night to enjoy yourself.

how to build emotional connection with a woman

Enjoy the beach, a lovely supper out, or a tour of the surrounding area.

If you live in or near a historic area, spend the day seeing sites of historical value, followed by a delicious lunch or dinner before driving back to your house.

Whether it’s a day trip or an overnight excursion, exploring new areas could add a sense of excitement to your lives and influence your bond significantly, not to mention improve your intimacy levels.

Be Genuine, Open and Respectful When Sharing Your Feelings.

Respect is essentially the acceptance of someone for who they are, regardless of how they differ from you or how much you disagree with them.

It promotes feelings of trust, safety, and well-being in our relationships when we show our partner’s respect.

This results in the development of a deep emotional connection between us.

Your partner’s readiness to hear you out and accept your requests and proposed solutions to problems you are experiencing is dependent on your ability to express your love, appreciation, and willingness to stay connected and find answers together, among other things.

It is far more difficult to express feelings of irritation, anger, fear, and grief, and it takes more thought and attention.

So, if you are able to remain calm and collected when discussing your feelings, your chances of remaining on topic are significantly increased.

Subsequently, you will be more likely to receive a positive response from your partner if you refrain from blaming her and instead express how you feel, think, and what is important to you and why.

By not interrupting and causing her to defend herself, you can make it far easier for her to listen to you and understand what you are saying.

Make your remarks more about you than they are about her, and you’ll be more effective at communicating.

This is, without a doubt, one of the most difficult things to do, however, because, in a relationship, it is quite normal to feel at times that the other person is to blame for something.

how to build emotional connection with a woman

However, if you take the time to think about it, you will realise that you are responsible for your own responses and reactions and that your behaviour as her partner also has a significant impact on your relationship.

Your feelings are your own and blaming her for them is not conducive to developing a strong emotional connection with each other.

On The Flip Side, Listen Closely with All Your Attention.

Listening has become a lost art.

But if you want to build an emotional connection with a woman it is paramount that you get good at listening well, because is usually where men drop the ball badly.

So, consider the following tactics for listening, the next time your partner wishes to speak with you:

Give them your complete and total attention.

During a conversation, whatever you’re busy with apart from listing to them with undivided attention, demonstrates to the other person how essential they are to you in your life.

It’s crucial to understand that the issue isn’t whether you can “do two things at a time” (which nobody can effectively, by the way), but rather whether the other person feels like the most important thing at that moment.

When you give complete attention to them, not only does it help to improve their mood, but it also increases your chances of properly understanding what they’re saying and avoiding miscommunications which are often the source of every conflict.

So, put down whatever you’re doing and pay attention.

Put your phone aside for a moment and be fully present.

Turn off any other sources of distraction, like the television, and listen wholly.

Try to maintain your focus on the present moment, which includes paying attention to what they’re saying.

It’s important to avoid the temptation of letting your thoughts wander to other topics (such as what you’ll eat for dinner) or already planning what you’ll say next.

Make direct eye contact with the other person.

Failure to maintain eye contact may give the impression that you are not really paying attention to her.

One technique that can help you in maintaining eye contact is to concentrate on only one of her eyes at a time.

You can look away from them for a little moment at a time so that it does not appear as though you are staring at them, but if you do look away, always return your attention to them as soon as possible to avoid becoming distracted by something else.

how to build emotional connection with a woman

Additionally, doing that signals that you are still paying attention to her.

When they have finished speaking, describe what you have just heard back to them.

Doing that is a common therapy technique called summarizing, but it essentially helps you in better understanding what’s being said and meant.

Allow them to agree with your summary or make adjustments if they feel they are necessary.

Only then it will be possible for you to express yourself by adding your own point of view, thoughts, or any queries you may have.

For example, after they said something, you could respond by saying something like, “Ok, what I’ve heard you saying is XYZ… Is that what you mean?”

At that point, she will tell you whether you’ve heard correctly or not.

And based on her response, you can adjust your understanding and the corresponding response.

Do not be afraid to ask questions.

Now, this point obviously goes with the previous one, but it’s important to understand that when it comes to communication, clarity is the name of the game.

The clearer you are about what someone is trying to convey, the better you can understand and respond.

Couples frequently end up fighting because they jump to conclusions prematurely or only listen with half an ear… Which leads to assumptions.

So, instead of attempting to figure out what your partner is thinking or meaning, simply ask for clarification if you don’t understand what she’s saying.

Doing that will help to guarantee that no assumptions are made and that there are no misunderstandings.

how to build emotional connection with a woman

More than that, however, the fact that you were paying attention and is actually trying to understand her point of view is communicating to her that you’re genuinely interested and do care.

As a result, asking questions when your partner is talking to you not only signals to them that she is important to you but also deepens the connection she feels she has with you.

So is well worth your time learning to ask questions because there is a difference between curiosity and interrogation.

One makes you feel warm and fuzzy and the other leaves you cold and defensive.

Try to avoid interrupting her.

This is a big one but interrupting other people while they are speaking is a bad habit.

It also signals dominant behaviour, which is fine and certain contexts where you’re trying to establish your authority or the strength of your possession, but as far as love relationships go, it sucks as a strategy to create an emotional connection.

It is better to keep quiet until they have finished speaking and it is your chance to speak, no matter how tempting it may be to rush in with comments or ideas.

Simply aim to be present and understand well.

Some women are simply seeking to vent and get their concerns off their chests, and this is perfectly OK.

So, allow them to finish.

She’ll be grateful to you, and it will most likely reduce her stress levels and help her to relax a little bit about the situation.

Again, this is something that a lot of men get along with because in our minds, responding with the most appropriate solution or fix, is the best thing we can do. We believe that is what she wants.

Unfortunately, exactly the opposite is true when it comes to communicating with women.

For the most part, she isn’t looking for your solutions but rather a safe space wherein she can express her thoughts and feelings because the act of talking IS her solution.

Therefore, as a guy, you can make her feel better simply by being silent and interested!

Remember that while she may not always be able to recall every word you say in a conversation, she will most certainly remember how you made her feel.

But these simple listening methods can help you boost her mood, avoid misunderstandings, and build your relationship by putting them into practice on a daily basis.

Take Away

Knowing how to build emotional connection with a woman doesn’t differ all that much from creating a strong bond with a man.

However,  there are some nuances you need to keep in mind when building a connection with a woman, especially around communication.

When it comes to communication men and women do differ somewhat.

Opening up and talking about things tend to create different psychological and physiological responses in us, which is good to know.

But simply appreciating that should you put the above-mentioned strategies to work in your relationship, you’ll most likely experience a more intimate and beautiful love relationship member for, is most likely enough for now.

If you have any comments or questions, just leave them in the comments area below or send them to me directly at support.

PS. If you haven’t seen it already, Feedspot.com recently released their latest list of Top 100 Relationship blogs on the Internet, and we are sitting at #25! We’re in good company. Go check it out.

About the author

Gideon

Gideon is the founder of TheRelationshipGuy.com, a top-50 relationship blog (2021) and top-100 marriage blog (2021) focused on providing healthy relationship advice about love and life. He earned a Master's degree in theological studies before training as a professional counsellor and hypnotherapist (DipProfCouns., DipMSHT.) almost 10 years ago. He is currently pursuing further graduate Psychology studies at Massey University while working as a relationship and dating blogger the majority of the time. He has been married to his wife for over fifteen years and is the father of two children.

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