by Gideon 

June 30, 2015

man playing violin and loving life

 “We do not remember days, we remember moments.” 

Cesare Pavese

Do you feel like something is missing in your life?

Many do people do.

As Thoreau said,

“The mass of men leads lives of quiet desperation.”

The question is, can we do better?

Can we create the life that we want instead of just waiting for life to happen to us?

I believe we can.

In this post, I will share an idea and some strategies with you that will help you live life on your terms.

If it is true as Pavese says, that we only remember moments, then we better get this right.

Now is the time to start creating moments that last.

Memories stay with us and carry us through what awaits us in life.

The good news is, it all starts with you.

Learning to focus on yourself, instead of others, might be the missing key you’ve been seeking to get more out of life.

As people, we are a species that love measuring and comparing ourselves to those around us.

It gives us a sense of certainty and significance, love and connection I suppose.

Yet, it can also be a trap.

One that will keep you imprisoned in a life of comparison and feeling shit about yourself.

There will always be someone better than us, and using that as a method to feel good or bad about life, is a futile plan.

Therefore, if you find that you’re comparing yourself to others and coming up short, it’s time to stop.

Comparisons get you nowhere.

Rather than leading to positive improvements, they only cause you pain and discontent.

No, in this instance a better choice is to focus on your own personal needs and wants.

You’re a unique individual who requires a personal approach!

This helps you boost your self-image because you’re focused on improving yourself and not trying to beat someone else in some uncharted race.

However, learning to focus on you rather than everyone else around you can be a difficult task.

Too often, we’re so used to focusing on our families and friends that we don’t even know how to begin the process of focusing on our own choices and decisions that determine our lives.

Yet, we must if we want to live life on our terms rather than that of someone else.

Let’s look at five powerful tips to get more out of your life.

Follow these five tips to help you focus on fully enjoying your life and getting more from it:

Devote one hour a day to “me time.”

During this time, focus completely on yourself and the things you need or desire to feel strong, lovable and important.

Reflect on what’s important to you.

Dream big dreams and figure out small steps you can take to achieve them.

Your “me-time” can be anything you like it to be: take a relaxing bubble bath, go for a walk, take a nap, get a massage, read a book, or do something else.

I’m an Athlean-X Team member and love drinking my pre-workout shake and hitting the training program for a day.

I live for it.  You need to find something too.

Anything that brings you pleasure simply for the sake of pleasure qualifies as me-time.

Take care of your own physical, spiritual and health needs.

Relying on someone else to meet your needs only leads to dependence and resentment.

No one can or should be your crutch.

Don’t wait for someone else to empower you.

Find your own way.

You have the power within you to meet your own needs and the only way you can be truly whole is to do just that.

Tap into that inner strength and trust yourself.

The more you do it, the better you will get and the easier it becomes.

Feed your mind and body good healthy fuels.

You cannot expect your mind and body to function at their best if you don’t provide them with the fuels they need to work at full capacity.

Feed your body good foods: fresh fruits and vegetables, and lean proteins.

Drink plenty of water to keep your body fully hydrated.

Forget about the old “eight glasses per day” idea; keep drinking water all day long.

You will pee more, but that’s a good thing.

Feed your mind by reading informative, well-written books, and blogs.

Choose recreational reading that builds your mind and spirit.

Limit your TV watching reading the newspaper, and spend your time pursuing things that stimulate your thinking instead.

Play board games and not only video games.

Listen to music that gets your energy up. Remember emotion is energy in motion, and nothing gets that energy going like music.  Find something that works for you.

Spend time each day doing something you love.

No matter what your hobby is, it’s healthy to indulge in a creative pastime.

Gardening, painting, drawing, woodcarving and pottery are all hobbies that encourage your creativity while you use your hands to create something beautiful.

I love writing blog posts and sharing content with my readers that have the power to change lives.

We grow when we create; find your way and let it out.

Start a gratitude ritual.

Begin and end each day by listing five unique things you’re grateful for in your life.

You can write these down or hold them in your mind.

Before long, you’ll find that you spend more of your time dwelling on all the good things you have in the world rather than the negative obstacles you might face.

This is perhaps one of the most powerful habits you can adopt that will make a huge difference in your life long term.

Here’s something to be grateful for, it costs nothing. 

Focusing on you helps you take the best possible care of yourself.

It allows you to replenish your batteries and regain your strength so you can be fully present and engaged for the rest of your day.

Use these tips to start changing your focus today, and have many happy tomorrows!

About the author 

Gideon

Gideon is the founder of TheRelationshipGuy.com, a top-50 relationship blog (2021) and top-100 marriage blog (2021) which focuses on providing healthy relationship advice about love and life. He earned a Master's degree in theological studies before training as a professional counsellor and hypnotherapist (DipProfCouns., DipMSHT.) almost 10 years ago. He completed a graduate diploma in Psychology and is currently pursuing postgraduate Psychology studies at Massey University. He has been married to his wife for over fifteen years and is the father of two children. His articles have been published on Marriage.com and The Good Men Project.

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