June 4

What Attracts Men Series: Men are Visual

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Like it or not, from the beginning of time men have been visual creatures. It has something to do with biology and neurology. And, if you’ve been around any men in your life, then chances are you’ve already run into this reality. They may have been your brothers, cousins, friends or young uncles – if they were men, then they are turned on but the things that they can SEE because men are visual. This means that if you want to attract men, you need to understand that what is underlying to all things that attract men are the things they can see.

men are visual pinterest

So, whatever you want men to notice, whether these things are physical attributes, characteristics or mental acuity – if you want them to appreciate these assets, it’s time you make them visible.

You may be modest about your intelligence, your body or your love of giving to others.

However, for men to appreciate and notice these characteristics, they have to see them because men are visual.

Now, this obviously does NOT mean that you parade around with the minimum amount of clothing on.

Yes, you’ll get attention, but chances are you’ll get all the WRONG kind of attention.

So unless you’re into that type of thing, perhaps exercise common sense and discretion.

Look, men have two types of women that they date …

There are those who they want to take home to mom to meet and ultimately create a life with.

The other type is the ones they date, bed and move on.

And, believe me, if you are flaunting your stuff willy nilly for all to see, all you’ll end up becoming is the sport fish they wanna catch but eventually throw back into the sea.

You won’t be going home to visit mom and dad and probably won’t even get to meet the friends.

Chances are you’ll be told multiple different stories, feel like it’s time to take your relationship into the bedroom and then “like magic,” he’ll be gone.

I think the term people use these days is “Ghosted.” 

But again, if you’re into dating Casper and his friendly band of ghosts, then go for gold!

Just be warned.

Listen, you absolutely want to play up to the fact that men are visual creatures and use that knowledge to your advantage, but you don’t want to go down the wrong path doing it.

Instead, it’s important to dress well with a style that is all your own, that you feel confident and comfortable in and is YOU.

Showing some skin can be a modest way of communicating your ability to be sexy without telling every man within sight that you are willing to jump into the first warm bed.

But you don’t need to walk around semi-naked to communicate sexiness.

In fact, there’s a lot more to it in my opinion than what you wear (even though that does catch a guy’s eye).

How you carry yourself is just as important.

In other words, looking good, comfortable in your own skin, and confident – not trashy and desperate!

Now, with that point made, it’s time to think about the qualities YOU possess that are attractive.

Qualities such as your eyes, smile, intelligence, humour, kindness or empathy.

Then determine how you can SHOW off these qualities, instead of just saying you have those qualities (in case of something intangible).

For instance, if you enjoy giving to others, think about volunteering for an organisation and you’ll meet men who also value giving to others.

BE witty and charming instead of telling people that you are witty and charming.

Chances are you’ll get noticed by other men who share this quality.

If you have a beautiful smile or nice eyes, make a point to highlight those.

At the end of the day, what you need to remember is that if you ain’t showing it, you might as well not have it, as far as men go, as men are visual.

The reverse is also true.

While men are visual, they recognise the need to see and be seen.

Watch the men you are attracted to.

Do they show the characteristics YOU are looking for?

Most men understand how to be visual with the characteristics they want to show off.

So, look for those markers and what a man is showing off, and determine if this is the type of guy you want to be with.

Men make it very easy to see what’s important to them – they let you SEE it.

Tomorrow we’ll look at another thing that attracts men – #2 Attitude.

In the meantime, check out my latest book for couples down below.

Have you seen this yet?

If you want to learn how to create a happy, healthy, and more intimate marriage (again), you need to read this very important letter about my latest relationship book I released recently.

happy again book
Click to learn more


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About the author
Gideon Hanekom

Gideon Hanekom is a relationship coach and the creator of The Relationship Guy – a Top Marriage Coaching and Relationship Advice Blog that helps married couples create healthier relationships. He is a trained professional counsellor and one of New Zealand’s top relationship bloggers and coaches. He’s been happily married for over fourteen years and is a dad of two.​ He also holds Bachelor and Master degrees in the field of Theology and is currently studying post-graduate Psychology at Massey University.

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