What Attracts Men Series: Attitude

by Gideon Hanekom
June 7, 2019

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Having the right type of attitude can be very attractive. All of us want to be around people who make us feel good in some way or another. But, conversely, when being around someone who makes us feel crap about ourselves or the world, we tend to avoid that person. So, if you want to attract a man, ask yourself what type of attitude are you harbouring and carrying around. Because that could be the difference between attracting the right type of guy or the wrong one … or any guy at all.

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In general, the attitudes that men find most attractive are confidence, loyalty and honesty.

There is nothing that turns a guy off more rapidly than a needy woman who doubts herself, OR a mean spirited, dishonest woman who thinks more of herself than anyone else.

In the movie Hitch, Alex Hitchens explains to Sara that she’s been sending all the right signals to men that they should stay away:

“You’re sending all the right signals: no earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back … wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini … which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn’t do it. If that wasn’t clear enough … there’s always the “f . . . off” that you have stamped on your forehead.”

Most men know exactly how to read those signals.

Chances are, if you want a man to stay away, all your unconscious signals will make it obvious.

But, women who are confident, loyal to their friends, family and partners and honest in their conversations and promises will make great strides in finding the man she is looking for.

In my experience, men who are worth your while also want to take women home who exude what I call “class.”

Now, that doesn’t mean that you’re a nose in the air type of snob.

No, it means that you conduct yourself with “style” and confidence.

And it’s not about what you drink, drive or wear.

It is how you conduct yourself, your ability to be authentic and exude confidence and your ability to treat other people with respect and honour.

So many women wanting to attract men lower their standards and conduct that it only ends up attracting men they don’t actually want while putting off those they do.

Worse than that, many actually end up setting for far less than they deserve.

Don’t be desperate, however.

Be confident. Love yourself. Keep your standards. And display an attitude that reflects that.

I would love your thoughts and comments on this in the comments area below.

About the author 

Gideon Hanekom

Gideon Hanekom is the creator of TheRelationshipGuy.com, a renowned relationship blog that ranks among the top 50 relationship blogs in 2024. The website shares valuable insights on creating healthy relationships life. Gideon holds a Master's degree in theological studies and transitioned into professional counseling more than a decade ago. In addition, he since completed post-graduate studies in Psychology at Massey University. With over seventeen years of marriage to his wife and two children, Gideon brings both professional and personal experience to his relationship advice. His articles have been featured on respected platforms such as Marriage.com and The Good Men Project.

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