How to Get Out of a Rut and Get Motivated: 6 Reasons My Life is Stuck

by The Relationship Guy
May 12, 2015

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To create the life I want, I must first discover why my life is stuck and then learn how to get out of a rut and get motivated.

How to get out of a Rut and Get Motivated

Do you feel like your life has been in a rut?

Why is that?

Why does it feel like my life is stuck?

And why is it that our lives rarely change, even when we’re aware of the fact and feel miserable?

I think it has to do with the fact that there are unconscious forces within our minds that “conspire” to keep us stuck.

They’re also spectacularly effective at accomplishing this.

In fact, they’re so good, we don’t even realise it’s happening.

But awareness of the following 6 ideas might just be the way for how to get out of a rut and get motivated again.

How to get out of a Rut and Get Motivated

1. I lack the knowledge necessary to make a change.

I might know that I need to be more confident but I might also lack the knowledge of how to develop confidence.

Not all skills are available at my fingertips.

If my life is stuck, and I lack the knowledge to change things, then I might need to do a little studying or research before a change is possible.

It’s as the saying goes,

Measure twice, cut once.

2. I don’t know specifically what I want.

If I think I might like to be a fireman but also think of becoming an accountant sounds interesting, chances are my life is stuck or is bound to be.

At some point, it’s necessary to make a clear decision and set a goal and start moving towards it.

If I can’t choose a vacation destination, I’m destined to remain stuck at home.

3. I lack willpower or fail to use it effectively.

Willpower is limited, but it’s also great for kickstarting new habits and behavioural patterns.

But if my life is stuck, how do I develop the willpower to kickstart new habits and behaviours?

The simple answer is simply sticking with a task even after the urge to quit surfaces.

Doing that over and over can develop willpower and grit.

Simply continue for another 5 minutes when the urge surfaces.

It’s also important that I increase the amount of time each week until I can work through the urge to give up.

Using my willpower to develop small habits that can grow into useful routines in order to get my life unstuck.

4. I can’t deal with being uncomfortable.

Anxiety, nervousness, and fear are great for preventing you from jumping off a 10-story building.

But they’re worse than worthless when it comes to keeping me stuck.

Some level of discomfort accompanies any change, but my emotions are misleading me.

Fear is very seldom real.

More often than not, I’m not in any real danger and any resistance is simply my ego wanting to keep me safe and out of harm’s way.

But I can use logic to talk myself through it.

For example,

Nothing bad can happen from giving a speech. In fact, there are many benefits.”

I can use the logical part of my brain to override my primitive instincts.

There are many techniques to lower my levels of discomfort to more manageable levels.

Meditation, prayer, and counselling are a few that can be beneficial.

I just need to start small and push through slight discomfort.

By doing so, my ability to handle the bigger and scarier situations will grow with experience.

5. I give up too quickly.

If my life is stuck right now, I need to understand that making any change can take time.

80% of the change I will ultimately see, won’t reveal itself until at least 80% of the work has been completed.

That’s why so many people give up so quickly I’m guessing.

The reality is that my early efforts will show little results, but things ARE happening behind the scenes.

It’s, therefore, necessary to persevere to see a meaningful change in my life in the end.

6. I must learn to be a finisher.

If my life is stuck, a simple but effective habit to adopt is to start completing all the little tasks in my life.

Finish stuff.

If I decide to walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes, I need to keep going until I’m done.

I need to get in the habit of avoiding letting myself off the hook until an activity is 100% complete.

I must learn to finish things if my life is stuck right now because starting things and leaving them half-finished is most likely what got me stuck in the first place.

Take away

Making any change can be a challenge if my life is stuck right now.

But understanding my roadblocks to change can enhance my ability to bring about meaningful changes in my life.

It’s important that I have an objective and then develop habits that support that objective.

I must also learn to lower and deal with uncomfortable emotions because those will keep me stuck.

The reality is that I have everything within me necessary to create a spectacular life.

I just need to go for it!

About the author 

The Relationship Guy

Gideon Hanekom is the founder of TheRelationshipGuy.com, a top-50 relationship blog (2021) and top-100 marriage blog (2021) which focuses on providing healthy relationship advice about love and life. He earned a Master's degree in theological studies before training as a professional counsellor and hypnotherapist (DipProfCouns., DipMSHT.) almost 10 years ago. He completed a graduate diploma in Psychology and is currently pursuing postgraduate Psychology studies at Massey University. He has been married to his wife for over sixteen years and is the dad of two children. His articles have been published on Marriage.com and The Good Men Project.

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