What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like

by Gideon Hanekom
July 27, 2021

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There are many paths to a healthy relationship with no single couple being the same, yet all displaying unique differences from couples struggling unhappily.

For all healthy relationships tend to exhibit great communication skills, despite communicating differently.

Couples in healthy relationships also for the most part look like they’re truly enjoying life and each other.

They seem happy despite many reasons in the world not to be.

More than that, happy couples appear comfortable with one another.

Even when apart, they eventually and naturally gravitate back to each other.

In any relationship, there’s also bound to be the occasional disagreement or misunderstanding.

But, it is HOW these are handled that makes all the difference.

At those times, in healthy relationships, each partner tends to take special care to manage their own emotions while also seeking a resolution to the disagreement at hand.

And when necessary, one partner admits their error and apologises to the other as a natural way of being and doing.

For healthy couples understand something that many other couples don’t, in that admitting when you’re wrong demonstrates that you’re supportive, caring and committed to the other at all times.

More than that, showing vulnerability and taking personal ownership in that way, essentially shows that “I can be trusted and you are safe with me.”

As a powerful result, trust is obvious as the relationship grows.

Healthy partners have no need to create drama through having suspicions about the other and consequently, refuse to play silly mind games.

People in healthy relationships put a lot of effort into figuring out how trust is created and, ultimately, earn and give trust more easily.

But healthy relationships also go beyond trust…

Each partner sincerely cares about how the other one feels.

If one spouse notices a particular look or behaviour by the other that is unusual or out of character, they’ll immediately express concern and inquire about it.

What’s up? What’s happening?

There is no room for uncertainty and guessing games in healthy relationships, for that never leads to the ultimate prize of happiness and inner peace.

Only suspicion, distrust, and destruction.

In essence, a healthy couple becomes consistently attuned with one another over time.

In a sense, they constantly monitor and respond to each other’s feelings.

That leads to even more trust and safety.


Healthy couples also share their life.

For real.

They have fun and go out as a couple, sometimes alone and other times with friends.

More importantly, couples in healthy relationships WANT to have dates and eagerly make time for them because having dates with each other solidifies their bond and ensures they stay intimately connected.

But, healthy partners also each have a solid sense of independence and a strong sense of self.

Each can stand on their own two feet if they so choose.

Even though they have each other, each partner understands they are still individuals who bring something important and interesting to the relationship.

They can be separate but choose to be together.

Ultimately, the challenge of creating a healthy relationship only becomes possible, no doubt, because healthy partners are, at the core of things, good friends.

Friends with many benefits.

Thus, they’re interested in one another like friends and truly strive to share as much time together as possible, because that’s what good friends do.

There is no healthy relationship without a friendship.

But there can be no friendship without a healthy relationship.

Healthy relationships don’t happen on their own.

They are created by healthy people wanting to share themselves and a journey.


Healthy individuals.

Want. Desire.

Sharing. Sacrifice.

Myself. Open. Vulnerable. Naked.

A journey. Togetherness.

That’s the price of admission.

About the author 

Gideon Hanekom

Gideon Hanekom is the creator of TheRelationshipGuy.com, a renowned relationship blog that ranked among the top 50 relationship blogs and top 100 marriage blogs in 2021. The blog is dedicated to providing valuable insights on cultivating healthy relationships and love in daily life. Gideon holds a Master's degree in theological studies and transitioned into professional counseling almost a decade ago. In addition, he completed graduate and post-graduate studies in Psychology at Massey University. With over seventeen years of marriage to his wife and two children, Gideon brings both professional and personal experience to his relationship advice. His articles have been featured on respected platforms such as Marriage.com and The Good Men Project.

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