Let’s get right to the point.
Why should you get coaching?
Firstly, we know that research found that of the people who get coaching:
- 57.1% experience lower stress levels,
- 43.3% an improved quality of life,
- 39.5% enhanced communication skills,
- 33.3% better family relationships and
- 31.9% increase in energy.
And when people get quality relationship coaching specifically …
- Couples align and improve (and save) their relationships.
- Children live with happier parents, which impacts their entire lives.
- Whole families discover a way to get along in peace, enabling each member to be stronger and more successful than ever.
- And individuals get to free themselves from negative relationship histories – and finally be the kind of spouse, partner and parent they always wanted to be.
After all, our whole society is based on this building block: people becoming couples and raising families.
And when you enable positive change in even one member of a couple, the whole family transforms.
That is why it could be that relationship coaches have the most powerful impact of all.
My clients typically deal with issues like:
- stale love life
- lack of structure and routine
- lack of relationship (and family) goals
- poor communication
- lots of conflicts
- financial pressure and stress
- lack of support from a spouse or partner
- lack of intimacy/sex
- demands of young children and/or disagreement on parenting styles
- stress / depression
- health issues that impact their relationship or sex life
- lack of motivation and drive
And if you’re reading this, some part of you is obviously thinking of getting coaching to deal with whatever you’re facing right now.
What Will You Get Out of Coaching?
When you work with me as your coach, I will help you to identify the major obstacles and factors making your relationship unhappy right now, AND put the right strategies in place to start creating a happier, healthier and more intimate love life!
But where we start depends entirely on your circumstances …
- If you are dealing with all kinds of stress which are negatively impacting your relationship, I will help you understand how men and women experience and deal with stress differently. I will show you how a lack of understanding can make things worse and how to fix it.
- If you have poor communication, I’ll help you understand why and coach you how to improve it.
- If you can’t get your husband to talk to you, I’ll teach you to understand how men are different and why he avoids talking about feelings.
- If you don’t understand why your wife keeps saying “you just don’t understand,” I’ll coach you on understanding how you come across as a man to your wife as a woman, and what to change.
- If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, I’ll show you what men and women need specifically to create great connection and intimacy.
- If you’re feeling like your relationship is stale but you cannot be bothered to motivate your partner to do something about it, I’ll take you through a process of eliciting your core values to empower you to get on the same page and start creating the life you actually want.
- If you’re feeling unhappy and want more from your relationship, I’ll coach you how to have clarity about what you and your partner want to feel, and how to create an environment where you can experience that more consistently.
- If your partner is NOT on board or interested to make changes, we’ll have that conversation and what you can do to get the ball rolling on your own with the hope that they’ll be moved to participate also eventually.
Whatever your starting point and situation – we’ll work with and around that.
What some people say about me …
“Gideon reminded me how to be a great husband. When I first met Gideon, I had been married 7 years and was starting to become complacent in my marriage. His services helped strengthen my relationship with my wife, to ensure we live a happy and fulfilling life together.”
“I first met Gideon at an organised office meeting as a guest speaker. Bottom Line, he gets to core issues swiftly and with absolute honesty, the same honesty, along with life-changing strategies leverages one forward to the next challenge and beyond. I would recommend Gideon Hanekom to anyone who truly wants to make a positive change in their business world or personal life.”
Vince, New Zealand
“Gideon helped me through a very unsettling time of my life!”
Nicolette, New Zealand
“Originally I decided to see Gideon for specific sports-related issues, but with his encouragement and reassurance, it soon became clear that my anxieties were deeper than I thought. After a number of weekly sessions, I was on my way to a healthier mindset. Gideon was always professional, punctual and always willing to work around your schedule if possible. I wouldn’t have achieved what I did if it wasn’t for his help and support along the way.”
Hayley, New Zealand
“Thank You, Gideon, you are Inspiring, enlightening, encouraging, humorous, generous and kind and always willing to help me solve what’s on my mind.“
Yvonne, New Zealand
“As a professional rugby player reaching your physical potential is of the utmost importance, whereas mental preparation is often neglected. Gideon has shown me the tools to prepare mentally to be ready and prepared both on and off the pitch and I’ve seen the results first hand. Thank you.”
Dan Caprice, England Sevens Rugby
“At Yorke Stone and Associates Limited our team is focussed on cultivating a high performing culture. Gideon tailor-made workshops for our team that resulted in performance-driven strategies for our business. We have noticed immediate positive results and highly recommend engaging his services.”
Daniel, New Zealand
“I’ve been following Gideon’s journey and it’s very inspiring to see how he transformed his own life by following the strategies that he teaches his clients. I love the strategies he put in place to maintain a healthy lifestyle, both physically and mentally.”
Martin, New Zealand
Not sure if this is the right fit for you?
Listen, even though I am a trained professional counsellor, I’m not a therapist that wants to talk to you endlessly about the past or origin of your problems. You are welcome to go and do that somewhere else … I could even refer you to someone good.
I am a coach and in the business of helping you transform your relationship and life. And I want to help you get lasting results … fast!
People who know me will tell you I have a gift for seeing what others don’t and getting to the heart of the issue quickly and with no BS.
That’s super important because it helps you learn how to start creating results in your life asap. There are no Band-Aid fixes here.
I want to coach you in finding a complete solution to whatever problem YOU are currently facing in YOUR situation.
How this works …
I help unhappy couples create happier, healthier, and more intimate love lives.
And to do that, I follow a very simple coaching process, sometimes referred to as Healthy Relationship Dynamics Coaching©
Experience has taught me that people tend to rely on ingrained patterns and habits to help them deal with whatever life throws at them.
The same thing happens in our relationships.
We rely on what we know, not necessarily what works (or could work better).
Therefore, developing a better understanding of how we “work,” first, is crucial for success.
I call this part of the process, developing AWARENESS.
And I have learned that when we create AWARENESS in three (3) areas, in particular, we can shortcut the process to success even more.
These three areas are:
- Learning how to generate the most helpful emotional states.
- Learning about and modelling the patterns, behaviours and habits most happy relationships have in common (i.e. bright spots).
- Becoming aware of and avoiding common toxic relationship patterns of thinking and behaviour (i.e. blind spots)
Consequently, we spend a lot of time in the coaching process discovering, looking at and applying the elements of these three areas.
Once we have a clearer idea of the bigger picture around the requirements for relationship success, I will help you to start committing to more constructive and positive ways of changing the results you are getting in your relationship or marriage right now.
I call this part of the coaching process ACTIVATION.
After you have developed greater AWARENESS and ACTIVATED the new insights, understanding, and behaviour, our coaching sessions will then focus on keeping you on track and helping you grow towards your desired goals.
This is what we call, ACCELERATION.
You can also use the word, “growth.”
But, within the context of a marriage or love relationship, GROWTH has two parts:
- continuous personal growth of each individual, AND,
When these elements are in place, the relationship itself seems to feed off it.
Without continuous growth, there is decay, which usually means the end of something.
You and your partner might be together because you’re genuinely in love, but you are also individuals who need to grow individually and separate from each other.
This will ultimately feed your relationship even more.
It is when we get stuck in unhelpful mindsets and ways of thinking (cognitive distortions) and dysfunctional patterns of behaviour to meet certain wants and needs, that the health of the relationship can suffer.
Partners tend to shift their focus away from serving each other, toward defending or serving themselves, which becomes toxic and destructive.
Furthermore, if one partner grows and the other doesn’t, spouses or partners tend to grow apart.
And growing apart is not the same as growing separately from each other in order to grow as individuals – the latter is necessary – the former is a recipe for marital disaster.
The idea is to grow individually AND collectively, and feed that back into the relationship.
ACCELERATION is about showing, encouraging and keeping you accountable to do just that.
Your success will come from what you do – and not do – outside our sessions.
That’s where the rubber hits the road.
A most common question – “What if my partner doesn’t want to get coaching; do you work with individuals?”
The short answer … yes!
Relationship research is clear on this matter.
You don’t have to have both partners involved to start improving a relationship.
It helps of course, but it’s not necessary to start.
What you need to do now …
Fill in the form below to apply for coaching with me.
Once approved, I will contact you and we will set up an initial strategy session, either in person or via phone or Skype.
In this strategy session, we will,
- Get clarity on what you want for your relationship/life,
- Unpack the biggest obstacles right now that are keeping you from achieving that,
- See how we can work together to overcome those obstacles and create the relationship/life you want.
Our sessions are usually around 60-90 minutes long.
There is a $50 reservation fee for scheduling this strategy session.
Also, booking this strategy session does NOT mean you have to enrol in coaching with me.
If we feel we’re a good fit and you want to sign up for more sessions (most clients start with 4 sessions), then you can. Or not. It’s up to you.
WARNING: If you are afraid of truth, directness, scared of being challenged, or someone caring about you and your happiness, then this is NOT the right thing for you!
But, if you’re good to go, then let’s do this!
I will contact you once I’ve received your application.