May 17, 2024 |Gideon Hanekom

yes, there is still time to save your marriage!

watch the video below to discover what to stop doing and learn 3 key steps to remain happily married.


We all know that positive communication plays a pivotal role in shaping relationship satisfaction.

It basically encompasses the ways in which partners express affection, share compliments, and engage in meaningful conversations, resulting in what I call, a climate of positive affect.

Consequently, the significance of this form of communication cannot be overstated, as it serves as the foundation for a healthy and fulfilling relationship and is essential for both individuals and couples striving for long-term satisfaction.

But, what do we know about about positive communication and its precise impact on relationships?

A recent study by Christine E. Leistner and her team at California State University, Chico, delves into this very topic.

Their research sheds light on the intricate relationship between positive communication and relationship satisfaction, emphasizing the crucial elements that contribute to both emotional and sexual fulfilment.

The study examines various dimensions of positive communication, including verbal affirmations and nonverbal gestures, and provides valuable insights into how couples can enhance their relational dynamics.

A big takeaway from this study is that the importance of positive communication extends beyond mere words; it encompasses a range of behaviours that foster connection and intimacy.

Expressions of affection, for instance, play a significant role in reinforcing emotional bonds and creating a sense of security within a relationship.

Compliments, on the other hand, serve as affirmations that validate and appreciate one’s partner, thereby enhancing their self-esteem and overall satisfaction.

In essence, these positive interactions are integral to a relationship’s overall health, influencing both partners’ perceptions of their connection.

This is crucial since, as we know, what we perceive tends to affect how we feel, which impacts how we behave, with obvious implications for any relationship.

As we explore the findings of Leistner’s study, it becomes evident that positive communication is a dynamic and multifaceted aspect of relationship satisfaction.

By understanding and implementing these practices, couples can navigate the complexities of their relationships with greater ease and fulfilment.

Positive Communication

This article will, therefore, delve deeper into the various components of positive communication and the ways in which it shapes relationship satisfaction, providing practical insights for you as a couple seeking to improve your relational well-being and levels of satisfaction and happiness.

Overview of the Study

The study aimed to explore the intricate ways in which positive communication influences relationship satisfaction among couples.

The researchers focused on understanding the impact of positive communication on various aspects of relationship dynamics, including sexual satisfaction and overall relationship contentment.

By delving into these interconnections, the study sought to provide a comprehensive understanding of how fostering positive communication can enhance relationship satisfaction.

To achieve these objectives, the researchers gathered data from a sample of 246 couples.

This diverse sample allowed the study to capture a wide range of relationship experiences and dynamics.

The data collection process involved extensive surveys and interviews designed to assess various dimensions of communication and relationship satisfaction.

Participants provided detailed information about their communication patterns, emotional intimacy, conflict resolution strategies, and levels of sexual and overall relationship satisfaction.

The methodological approach of the study was robust, employing both traditional statistical methods and advanced machine learning techniques.

Traditional statistical analyses were used to identify general trends and correlations between positive communication and relationship satisfaction.

This robust approach provided a foundational understanding of how positive communication is associated with higher levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction.

In addition to traditional methods, the study leveraged advanced machine-learning techniques to uncover more nuanced patterns and predictive models.

Machine learning allowed researchers to analyze complex interactions between various factors, offering deeper insights into how different facets of positive communication contribute to relationship satisfaction.

This dual approach ensured a comprehensive analysis, combining the strengths of both traditional and modern analytical techniques.

Overall, the study’s meticulous methodology and diverse data set provided a rich foundation for understanding how positive communication shapes relationship satisfaction.

The integration of both statistical and machine learning methods enabled a thorough exploration of the multifaceted ways in which positive communication can enhance the quality of intimate relationships.

Here are some of the findings we can use to build some practical strategies around.

Some Emerging Themes

Showing Affection

Acts of affection, such as holding hands, hugging, and kissing, serve as physical expressions of love and care and are a powerful form of positive communication.

These gestures reinforce emotional bonds and provide a sense of security and closeness.

For instance, a simple hug after a long day can significantly reduce stress and convey support.

In essence, affectionate behaviours are critical in maintaining a warm and loving connection, helping to bridge the gap during challenging times.

Giving Compliments

Compliments are another powerful form of positive communication.

We know that recognizing and verbalizing appreciation for your partner’s qualities or actions can significantly boost their self-esteem and reinforce positive behaviours.

For example, complimenting your partner on their efforts in a shared task or their appearance can make them feel valued and cherished.

This reinforcement through positive communication encourages a cycle of mutual appreciation and respect.

Expressing Fondness

Expressing fondness involves verbally acknowledging your love and appreciation for your partner.

Statements like “I love you” or “I appreciate everything you do” act as verbal affirmations that strengthen emotional intimacy.

These expressions of fondness are crucial in reinforcing the emotional connection between partners, making them feel loved and understood.

positive communication

Thus, regularly voicing these sentiments helps to maintain a positive and affectionate atmosphere in the relationship.

The big takeaway here is that these forms of positive communication can manifest in various ways in everyday interactions.

For instance, a couple might start their day with a warm embrace, exchange kind words and compliments throughout, and end it with a heartfelt conversation expressing their love and appreciation for one another.

These consistent acts of positive communication then not only enhance relationship satisfaction but also contribute to a more fulfilling and harmonious partnership and increased levels of intimacy.

However, the research also reveals complex dynamics of positive communication that we need to consider for various reasons.

Complex Dynamics of Positive Communication

First, understanding the complex dynamics of positive communication is essential in grasping how it shapes relationship satisfaction.

Notably, the study highlighted an intriguing nonlinear relationship1 between high levels of affection and compliments and sexual satisfaction.

These findings suggest that while an abundance of positive communication can indeed enhance satisfaction for some couples, it may conversely lead to a decrease in satisfaction for others.

This paradox can be attributed to the unique needs and preferences of each partner within a relationship.

For some individuals, frequent expressions of affection and verbal compliments foster a deeper emotional connection and heightened satisfaction.

These partners may thrive on continuous positive reinforcement, viewing it as a testament to their partner’s love and commitment.

In such cases, positive communication acts as a catalyst for reinforcing the bond, thereby enhancing overall relationship satisfaction.

Conversely, other couples may find that excessive positive communication feels overwhelming or even insincere, leading to a reduction in satisfaction.

For these individuals, an overabundance of compliments and affection can create unrealistic expectations or feelings of pressure to reciprocate, ultimately resulting in discomfort.

This highlights the importance of striking a balance and tailoring communication strategies to each partner’s specific emotional needs and preferences.

Therefore, it is crucial for you as a couple to engage in open and honest dialogues about their communication preferences. This is a continuous theme on this site, but one we cannot escape.

Understanding how positive communication shapes relationship satisfaction requires a nuanced approach.

As partners, we must be attuned to each other’s needs and willing to adjust their communication styles accordingly.

And by fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding, we can navigate the complex dynamics of positive communication and enhance our overall relationship satisfaction.

Age-Related Differences in Communication

Another finding in this study had to do with age-related differences in communication.

According to the researchers, age plays a pivotal role in how positive communication shapes relationship satisfaction, particularly when it comes to the dynamic between perceived affection and sexual desire.

The study highlighted significant age-related differences in this regard, revealing that younger individuals and older individuals respond differently to perceived affection.

Younger individuals, typically characterized by a phase of exploration and higher physical vitality, exhibited heightened sexual desire even with lower levels of perceived affection.

That suggests that for younger couples, sexual desire might be more influenced by factors outside of emotional closeness and perceived affection. Conversely, older individuals demonstrated an increase in sexual desire when higher levels of perceived affection were present.

This finding indicates that as individuals age, emotional intimacy and the demonstration of affection become increasingly important for maintaining sexual desire and, by extension, relationship satisfaction.

positive communication

The shift suggests, therefore, that emotional connection and positive communication are more critical components of older couples’ relationship dynamics.

Assuming you’re still following, these findings have profound implications for relationship satisfaction across different age groups:

  1. For younger couples, focusing solely on physical aspects may suffice in the short term, but over time, the integration of positive communication and emotional intimacy is essential for sustaining relationship satisfaction.
  2. On the other hand, older couples benefit significantly from fostering an environment where affection and positive communication are prioritized, enhancing both emotional and physical connections.

Understanding these age-related differences allows couples to tailor their approach to communication and affection, ultimately fostering healthier and more satisfying relationships.

Moreover, by recognizing and adapting to the evolving needs and preferences that come with different life stages, couples can harness the power of positive communication to enhance their relationship satisfaction, regardless of age.

Practical Implications and Recommendations

Understanding how positive communication shapes relationship satisfaction is crucial for fostering a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

Based on the study’s findings, couples can benefit significantly by incorporating positive communication into their daily interactions.

One practical recommendation is to engage in active listening.

This involves not just hearing but also understanding and validating your partner’s feelings and perspectives because active listening can enhance mutual respect and reduce misunderstandings.

Another effective strategy is to express appreciation regularly.

Simple acts of gratitude, such as acknowledging your partner’s efforts and expressing thanks, can significantly boost relationship satisfaction.

Compliments and affectionate gestures, when given sincerely, reinforce a positive emotional climate within the relationship.

But it’s essential to find a balance in expressing affection, ensuring it feels natural and genuine rather than forced.

Mutual understanding is another cornerstone of positive communication.

Couples should strive to understand each other’s love languages and communication styles.

Tailoring your communication to align with your partner’s preferences can make interactions more meaningful and impactful.

For instance, if your partner values words of affirmation, focusing on verbal compliments and encouraging words can enhance their sense of being valued and loved.

Continuous effort is also vital in maintaining a healthy balance of affection and compliments.

Relationships require ongoing nurturing and attention.

Thus, setting aside regular time for open, honest conversations can help address any issues before they escalate.

This proactive approach fosters a deeper connection and ensures that both partners feel heard and understood.

Ultimately, incorporating these practical steps into daily life can significantly contribute to a more satisfying and harmonious relationship.

By prioritizing positive communication, couples can build a strong foundation of trust and affection, leading to lasting relationship satisfaction.


The discussion throughout this article has emphasized the pivotal role that positive communication plays in enhancing relationship satisfaction.

By fostering open, honest, and affirmative interactions, partners can significantly improve the quality of their relationships.

The study by Leistner et al. underscores this by showing how positive communication is integral to relationship health, irrespective of age.

However, it also highlights the crucial importance of a personalized approach, which takes into account individual differences such as age and the nuanced balance of affection and compliments.

Positive communication is not a one-size-fits-all solution; it must be tailored to the specific dynamics and developmental stages of a relationship.

For younger couples, the balance might tilt towards more frequent affirmations and affectionate exchanges, while older couples might find satisfaction in deeper, more meaningful conversations.

The ability to adapt and fine-tune communication strategies is a testament to a relationship’s strength and resilience.

The insights provided by Leistner et al. offer valuable guidance for anyone looking to improve their relationship satisfaction.

Partners can create a more supportive and fulfilling bond by consciously integrating positive communication practices, such as active listening, empathy, and constructive feedback.

These practices help people navigate conflicts, better understand each other’s needs, and build a foundation of trust and mutual respect.


  1. A nonlinear relationship means that the connection between two variables doesn’t follow a straight line. For example, if studying hours increase, grades might improve up to a point but then start to decline if studying becomes excessive. This shows a nonlinear relationship because the effect of studying on grades changes at different levels. ↩︎

About the author

Gideon Hanekom

Gideon Hanekom is the creator of, a popular relationship blog that ranks among the top 50 relationship blogs in 2024. The website helps couples to create happier, healthier, and more intimate relationships. Gideon is a trained professional counsellor and holds post-graduate degrees in Theology and Psychology. His articles have also been featured on respected platforms such as and The Good Men Project.

is your marriage 'on the rocks?' then read the following NOW...

If you’re reading this right now, then chances are your marriage isn’t what it used to be… and maybe it’s so bad, that you feel like your world is falling apart.

You feel like all the passion, the love, and romance have completely faded.

You feel like you and your partner can’t stop yelling at each other.

And maybe you feel that there’s almost nothing you can do to save your marriage, no matter how hard you try.

But you’re wrong.

You CAN save your marriage — even if your husband or wife says they want a divorce.

You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, “I love you” for the first time.

If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favour and watch this quick video that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world:

==> Watch the video 'Save Your Marriage Now' by Brad Browning now (VIDEO)!

In this video, you’ll learn the 3 critical mistakes that most couples commit that rip marriages apart. Most couples will never learn how to fix these three simple mistakes.

You’ll also learn a simple, proven “Marriage Saving” method that makes marriage counsellors look like kindergarten teachers.

So if you feel like your marriage is about to take its last few breaths, then I urge you to watch this quick video:

Make Your Spouse Adore You Again:

Watch this FREE training video!

You’ve got nothing to lose.

Except your marriage...

You may also like...