It’s no secret that dating can be a bit of a minefield – especially for girls. With so many different expectations and advice out there, it can be tough to know where to start. So, with that in mind, as a dad of a girl myself, I want to share 10 essential dating tips for teen girls from a dad’s perspective that will hopefully help steer you in the right direction.
The dating world has changed, but boys have not!
The dating world has changed dramatically in recent years, but when it comes to chasing teen girls, boys remain the same for the most part.
They still want to impress and entertain them, and will go to great lengths to do so.
In fact, boys are even more eager to pursue girls now that there are so many more ways to connect with them.
If she ends up chasing girls, well, that will also come with its own set of dynamics, no doubt.
Regardless, thanks to social media and dating apps, it’s easier than ever to find someone you’re interested in and start chatting with them.
Furthermore, it appears that young people are thrust into the “grown-up world” with all of its issues and challenges far sooner than I was when I was a child.
Unfortunately, this brings with it a slew of temptations and even the belief that they are much older than they are.
As a result, many young people begin dabbling in areas where most adults are still struggling, and many pay long-term consequences.
Whether any parent likes it or not, the world is becoming more complex and uncertain, and young people are being exposed to more information and choices than ever before.
This can be overwhelming and perplexing, leading to anxiety and stress.
Furthermore, many families are often put under even more strain because many parents may lack the time or energy to support their children as they face these challenges.
As a result, young people must frequently forge their own paths.
Also, schools are frequently unprepared to deal with the issues of the modern world, and many young people feel as if they have no one to turn to.
However, not all is lost.
Fortunately, there are some strategies you can use to help your children adjust to the “adult world.”
One of those strategies is to ensure that you maintain open lines of communication with one another.
Communication is the key to your and your children’s success.
It is something that we must constantly evaluate and improve because, in all honesty, it appears to be the best we have as parents.
Also, young people need to know that they can talk to their parents about anything and express their feelings and concerns to each other, which places a responsibility on us to be there for them as well.
Shifting our attention to the new dating world, this has changed dramatically for young people over the last decade or so.
The landscape has become much more complex since the advent of social media and online dating.
It’s more difficult and dangerous than ever to meet and connect with potential partners, and predators are stalking you everywhere you turn.
Furthermore, because they frequently compare themselves to the unrealistic standards set by social media, young people are under more pressure to succeed in their relationships.
Relationships can quickly become dysfunctional as a result of this pressure, and young people can feel like failures.
It’s no surprise that teen suicide rates have risen dramatically in the last ten years or so.
Our youth are conditioned to believe they must be far more mature and successful in order to be accepted, and it is eating them alive.
As a result, we, as parents, must be equipped with the skills and strategies necessary to assist our children in navigating this difficult world.
With that in mind, as a father of a son and a daughter, I’d like to share ten important dating tips for teen girls based on what I’ve learned in life, the girls I’ve dated, and what I’d want my daughter to think about the day she starts dating.
Be Ok With Being Single
My daughter must realize that it is acceptable to be single.
She doesn’t have to be in a relationship to feel good about herself or have a sense of purpose as a person.
Furthermore, I’ve discovered that if you can’t be enough without a relationship, you’ll never be enough with one.
Dating someone is wonderful, but if you feel you need a relationship to feel worthy as a person or good about yourself, the relationship will end up serving a purpose it was not intended to serve.
As a result, you may find that you never feel like a relationship (or the person you’re with) is quite enough.
Being single means you are not responsible for another person and thus have the freedom to do whatever you want, when you want, which is critical for your own development.
You can concentrate on your own happiness and well-being without having to think about anyone else.
More importantly, being single allows you to devote more time to your hobbies and interests, spend time with your friends and family, and discover who you are and what type of person you truly want to be in a relationship with.
Be yourself, be confident, be independent
When my daughter starts dating, I want her to be comfortable in her own skin.
But, most importantly, I want her to be self-sufficient and never lose herself in a relationship because that is never a good thing.
Enmeshment is a concept in psychology that refers to identifying with someone in an unhealthy way (I’m referring to codependency, not narcissism).
The term “enmeshment” is used by psychologists to describe a situation in which the boundaries between people become blurred and individual identities lose importance, according to a Harvard Business Review article.
Enmeshment inhibits the development of a stable, self-sufficient sense of self.
The issue with losing your identity (or sense of self) in a relationship is that you may lose track of who you are and what you want out of life.
This can be a frightening situation, so it’s important to remember that you’re still your own person.
It is critical to maintain your own interests and hobbies outside of the relationship so that you do not completely lose yourself.
If you begin to feel as if you are losing your identity, take a step back and ask yourself what you want out of life and this relationship.
You may have to make some difficult choices, but they will be worthwhile in the end.
Never settle for less than you deserve
I want my daughter to never settle for less than she deserves when it comes to dating because she deserves to be with someone who loves and respects her and with whom she is compatible.
In my opinion, one of the biggest mistakes you can make when you first start dating is settling for someone who is less than you deserve or with whom you are compatible.
Many people, it appears, make this mistake because they have low self-esteem and believe they should settle for the first and best partner who comes along.
However, I’ve found that settling for less than you deserve can easily lead to a relationship that isn’t fulfilling and can even be harmful to your self-esteem in the long run.
As a result, it’s better to wait, and while you’re waiting, be yourself, confident, and self-sufficient.
Never be too needy or desperate
Neediness or desperation is sometimes just a continuation of the previous point.
When a person has low self-esteem, they may become so desperate to be accepted and liked by others that their actions become overly needy and desperate.
In the process, they may lose their sense of self-worth and pride, lower their standards and values, and do things they would not normally do just to be loved.
I want my daughter to understand that not only is it unattractive for some people to see someone as needy or desperate when dating, but it can also attract the wrong attention, causing her to end up in the wrong relationship.
There is absolutely no reason to feel desperate or needy. Love yourself, be yourself, and the right people, including potential partners, will come into your life.
We tend to end up in relationships with people who are not good for us or our happiness when we date from a place of “lack” and low self-love.
Avoid getting carried away with the physical stuff and avoid having sex too quickly
When my daughter starts dating, I want her to know that there is enough time to be a grown-up when she is older.
In my opinion, and I appreciate the impact of my cultural upbringing, it’s important to avoid getting carried away with the physical stuff and avoid having sex too quickly because it can lead to problems later on.
When young people have sex too soon, especially when they aren’t emotionally mature enough or ready, it can lead to a range of issues.
For example, Sonya Brady, PhD, and Bonnie Halpern-Felsher, PhD, two researchers from the University of California, San Francisco, conducted a study between 2002 and 2004 on a varied group of 273 sexually active students at two California public schools.
The students, 56% of whom were female, all reported having had vaginal and/or oral intercourse by the spring of their tenth-grade year.
116 students reported having only oral sex, 43 reported having only vaginal sex, and 114 reported having both.
The students answered surveys concerning the repercussions of sex every six months between 9th and 10th grade for the study.
The youth reported overall good outcomes, including pleasure, popularity, and closer relationships.
However, a significant number reported negative repercussions, such as feeling used, getting pregnant, obtaining a sexual disease, or feeling terrible about themselves.
Some researchers, however, caution us not to argue that casual sexual relationships and experiences are harmful or harmless to adolescents’ psychological well-being because the data is inconclusive.
Personally, I believe that no matter what, one should not treat one’s body and sexuality lightly.
You should not just throw your body away with the first person who comes along.
There also appears to be an over-emphasis on casual sex in modern dating rather than developing genuine long-term relationships.
Some refer to it as the “sexual hook-up culture,” with more researchers looking into the psychological effects of such encounters, as in this article.
What’s interesting is that the researchers conclude that, despite the fact that sexual hookups, by definition, provide the allure of sex without strings attached and are becoming more socially acceptable, new research suggests that these sexual hookups may leave more strings attached than many participants may initially believe.
There is still a lot we don’t know about the long-term effects of becoming physically and sexually active too soon or too young, but experience has taught me that, despite its enormous allure, it is prudent to be cautious about who you get intimate with and when.
Don’t fall for the “bad boy” trap.
Evolutionary biologists refer to “bad boys” as hypermasculine, explains Michael R. Cunningham, PhD, professor and psychologist at the University of Louisville, in an article on goodhousekeeping.com.
“These men ooze testosterone,” Cunningham says, “which leads to boldness and is associated with exaggerated sexuality.”
In the same article, according to Madeleine A. Fugère, PhD, professor of psychology at Eastern Connecticut State University and author of Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships, they may also be rebellious or emotionally unavailable.
Despite this, however, many women find “bad boys” appealing, even if they are aware that they could be trouble.
Now, I don’t have a specific definition of what constitutes a true “bad boy,” nor do I have any theories about why women would want to be with one; even when I was in school, many girls seemed to always be drawn to the so-called bad boys, but I do have thoughts on dating toxic people.
When a person is toxic to be in a relationship with, in my opinion, they are a true “bad boy” or “bad girl.”
To be honest, when it comes down to it, I don’t care about the ” tough guy” facade a lot of young guys put up nowadays so much as how someone will treat my daughter.
I doubt I would have many issues with that person if she is treated with love, decency, respect, care, support, loyalty, and commitment.
Unfortunately, from my experience, some “bad boys” live up to the hype and title, and I would advise my daughter to avoid such people.
Whatever they do with their time is obviously their concern, but if it could lead to my daughter’s mistreatment, it will become mine.
Don’t get too caught up in the details, or forget to have fun
Eventually, when my daughter began dating, I would want her to understand that dating should be enjoyable!
And it’s exciting.
When you meet someone you really like and suspect they like you back, going through the butterflies, nerves, flirting, and so on is a fantastic experience.
As a result, I don’t want her to get caught up in the details, or to become overly serious and forget to have fun.
Especially not at the start. It’s critical to unwind and enjoy yourself.
Not every date is gonna become your spouse, and that is fine.
Take things slow with a watchful eye
This probably relates to an earlier point about not getting carried away with the physical stuff too quickly, but when dating someone new, it is important to take things slowly and keep a watchful eye.
This allows you to get to know the person better and determine whether there are any red flags to be aware of.
However, if you move too quickly, you may miss out on vital information about the person that could save you from heartbreak later on.
As a result, if you are in a new relationship, it is always a good idea to look for warning signs of a player or an outright toxic person.
Some experts believe that past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour, so it is critical to get to know someone well before engaging in something very serious.
People don’t change their ways easily, but they can sometimes hide their true colours very well.
Play the long game
When my daughter begins dating, I want her to think long term.
Playing the long game means being patient and taking her time getting to know someone before jumping into a relationship.
When you meet someone you like, it can be tempting to move too quickly, but if you want a relationship to last, it’s often best to take things slowly.
It takes time to get to know someone, and rushing into things can lead to disappointment or even heartbreak.
However, by playing the long game, you increase your chances of finding someone who is truly compatible with you because you get to experience them in a variety of situations where you can observe their behaviour and feel what it’s like to be with them.
Being cautious when dating someone new can be extremely beneficial for maintaining a healthy pace because it allows you to get to know the person before making long-term commitments.
Conclusion
Of the most important dating tips for girls, the one that I hope my daughter will follow someday is to be herself.
Be confident and at ease with yourself, and the relationship will blossom from there.
Besides, even if it doesn’t work, you won’t have lost yourself in the process.
Also, don’t be afraid to express your desires and needs in the relationship because that is the only way to get them from your partner.
All happy and healthy relationships require partners to be friends and to communicate openly and honestly about their needs and expectations.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
What dating tips for teen girls would you add to the list (leave your comments below)?
