Why Habits Beat Goals Observation
As this year winds down, a familiar rhythm takes hold, which you’ll observe everywhere…
People start to reflect on the year gone by and then set lofty goals for the year ahead—promises to eat healthier, exercise more, save money, or spend more time with loved ones.
Yet, we all know how that goes…
By February, most people have abandoned their goals altogether.
The reality is the failure rate of New Year’s resolutions is alarmingly high.
I’ve been there, you’ve been there…
Now, with that fact out of the way, here’s another one:
The issue most people experience is not merely one of willpower but rather, lies in a fundamental misunderstanding of the mechanics of change. The problem, at its core, is the distinction between goals and habits.
Although interconnected, goals and habits operate on entirely different psychological and philosophical levels.
Goals are essentially outcome-oriented; in other words, they focus on a specific (end) destination.
Habits, however, are process-oriented, which means they actually shape the journey itself.
So, to connect the dots – there is no end goal or destination without a sustainable and sustained process.
It’s no wonder habits beat goals every time in creating lasting change.
Yes, you need a goal to know which direction to take, but goals in and of themselves do not create lasting change.
With that in mind, in the rest of this post, we’ll explore in more detail why habits, not goals, are the key to sustainable change, thinking about their more profound implications from psychological and philosophical perspectives.
The Illusion of Control in Goal-Setting
First off, it seems that people like goals because apart from making sense on some levels, goal-setting also appeals to our innate desire for structure and certainty.
Setting a goal gives the illusion of control over the future—a way of imposing order on the chaos of life.
On a psychological level, goals can motivate in the short term, offering a sense of purpose and direction.
In other words, they give us something to focus on and a direction to start going into. They give us the aim we can strive at.
That can feel good and motivate us to keep going.
However, this motivation is often fragile.
Research in behavioural psychology suggests that when goals are too ambitious or poorly aligned with an individual’s existing habits and environment, they quickly become overwhelming.
Now, that is a mouthful AND crucial to think about because that psychological reality typically leads to cognitive dissonance, which is the mental discomfort of failing to align actions with intentions, often resulting in abandoning the goal altogether.
In other words, if chosen wrong, goals can actually help you fail faster rather than achieve change.
From a philosophical standpoint, goals can also be inherently flawed because they are externalized.
If you think about it, a goal often represents an idealized version of oneself, disconnected from the present reality, i.e., it’s not what we see when we look in the mirror.
That “gap” between ideal and reality can create various psychological dilemmas.
For example, the existential philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche argued that striving toward abstract ideals can create a perpetual state of dissatisfaction, as the goalpost often moves further away with every step.
So, not only do you fail to achieve the goal, but you also feel bad all the time because that goal reminds you of what is and what is not.
Hard to argue with some of that, I have to admit…
Habits: The Unseen Architect of Identity
In contrast to goals, habits are rooted in the present.
They are small, repeated actions that, over time, shape who we are.
That is a super crucial and core idea you need to burn into your mind.
The one big difference between goals and habits is ACTION(s).
James Clear, in his seminal book Atomic Habits, emphasizes that,
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
This distinction is crucial: habits are not about achieving a specific outcome but about becoming a certain kind of person.
And you only do that through daily persistent actions.
More than that, psychologically, habits are powerful because they operate on the principle of automaticity.
That means that once behaviour becomes habitual, it requires little conscious effort, freeing up cognitive resources for other tasks.
In other words, you don’t have to think about doing it anymore (or hardly anymore).
You just do it..out of habit.
For example, brushing your teeth or locking your front door are habits so ingrained that you perform them without thinking.
Right?!
Now, imagine applying this same principle to exercise, learning a new language, reading, or budgeting.
If you could get it to the same ‘level”, what type of person would you be, AND how would that change your life?
Philosophically speaking, habits also align closely with Aristotle’s concept of eudaimonia, or flourishing.
Aristotle believed that virtues are cultivated through consistent practice, not by aiming for perfection.
In his view, the repetition of virtuous actions transforms them into ingrained qualities of character.
Similarly, when we focus on building habits, we shift our identity from someone who wants to achieve something to someone who is that kind of person.
In other words, they become who you are as a person.
The Science of Sustainable Change
The psychological mechanics of habits also provide another advantage over goals: habits work with the brain’s reward system.
And that’s huge…
When a habit is formed, it essentially creates a feedback loop involving a cue, routine, and reward.
For example:
- Cue: You wake up in the morning.
- Routine: You drink a glass of water.
- Reward: You feel refreshed and energized.
Now, this loop strengthens over time, making the behaviour automatic and, thus, easy to sustain.
More than that, as we just saw, it becomes who you are as a person.
Goals, on the other hand, often lack this immediate feedback.
As a result, the delayed gratification of a goal (e.g., losing 10kg in three months) often makes it harder to sustain motivation.
It’s just a fact that when we don’t see immediate changes or experience the desired results within a short period of time, it becomes hard to stay the course and achieve the initial aim we had.
Also, unlike goals, habits allow for flexibility and resilience.
If you miss a day at the gym but have built a habit of regular exercise, you are far less likely to abandon the practice entirely.
You will course correct, so to speak.
Wanting to lose weight or gain muscle as an end goal (for example) is simply too easy to abandon or lose sight of when life gets in the way.
Goals, being rigid by nature, often collapse when met with setbacks.
Practical Philosophy: Becoming, Not Achieving
This brings us to a deeper philosophical reflection and part of the underlying reasons habits beat goals when we want lasting change: the difference between being and becoming.
Goals are future-focused; they fixate on what you want to achieve…eventually, but more likely, never.
Habits, however, are present-focused; they emphasize what you are becoming.
Existentialist thinkers like Søren Kierkegaard and Jean-Paul Sartre remind us that,
Life’s meaning is not found in a single grand achievement but in the process of living authentically.
To build habits is essentially to engage in the ongoing process of becoming, a journey that evolves as you do.
And by focusing on habits, we shift from a transactional mindset (“I will achieve this if I do that”) to a transformative one (“I am the kind of person who does this”).
Now, this subtle but profound shift has lasting implications for personal growth, fulfilment, and even happiness.
I can tell you from personal experience that shifting from an “I want to achieve this and that” to “I do this and that because that’s who I AM” is like the difference between day and night.
Your habitual behaviour becomes an expression of who you are rather than a lone-standing action you do to achieve something, and then you’re done.
That subtle difference is truly journey and life-altering.
So,
Why Habits Solve the New Year’s Dilemma
At a core level, the New Year’s dilemma arises from the failure to bridge the gap between intention and action.
Goals, for all their motivational power, are simply not equipped to navigate the complexities of human behaviour.
Habits, however, are.
Habits do a few things.
They:
- Integrate seamlessly into daily life.
- Create a feedback loop that reinforces positive behaviour.
- Foster identity shifts that make change sustainable.
- Build resilience against failure and setbacks.
What that translates into is that to change your life, or even one aspect of it, you don’t need grand resolutions. You need small, consistent actions performed over time.
The simple reason why that is the case is because habits provide structure and consistency in our daily lives.
By repeating small actions consistently, habits gradually become ingrained in our behaviour and thought patterns.
Over time, this repetition strengthens neural pathways in our brains, making the habit easier to perform.
As these habits become second nature, they require less conscious effort, making it easier to maintain long-term change.
That is why this works.
Again, the power of habits lies in their ability to create lasting transformation through small, incremental steps.
Conclusion: A New Year, a New Perspective
As someone who’s been around the block a few times, I would suggest that as the New Year approaches, consider letting go of any obsession with goals (per se) you might have.
Instead, focus on building habits that align with your values, goals, and, ultimately, the person you want to become.
In doing that, you will not only sidestep the pitfalls of failed resolutions but also start a journey of authentic and sustainable growth.
Focusing on who you want to become and reverse engineering the mindset, actions, and habits required to do that (i.e., starting with the end in mind), is a much better approach than setting lofty goals that sound nice but won’t actually go anywhere.
Because, as Aristotle wisely observed,
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
As we bid farewell to 2024, may you and your spouse reflect on the moments that strengthened your bond, the challenges that deepened your understanding, and the joys that reminded you why you chose each other.
May 2025 be a year of intentional love, shared dreams, and growing together in harmony.
Here’s to deepening your connection, navigating life hand in hand, and building a marriage that continues to inspire.
Wishing you both a year of love, grace, and lasting happiness!
