by Gideon 

October 25, 2017

how to create a more loving relationship

There are about 8100 searches per month on Google for the keyword “relationship tips.”  When it comes to relationships, people want and need help, and are always looking for some relationship tips to improve their situations. Whether that means rekindling intimacy or getting over trust issues. Relationship tips are in high demand.

The good news is that your relationship with your partner has the potential to be the most fulfilling experience in your life.

And it can actually happen without knowing any relationship ninja secrets.

Oftentimes, it only takes knowing and applying a few simple principles consistently over time that makes all the difference.

However, there are snags that can happen every step of the way.

But, there is good news!

If you stay proactive and apply the 8 relationship tips I’m sharing with you below, you can foster a loving relationship no matter how many weeks or years you’ve been together.

Here are some tips for creating a more loving relationship:

Show your gratitude

If you love your partner very much, then you’re obviously grateful for them.

Or at least, it can be assumed that you are.

However, you need to learn to express your inner feelings.

Knowing and feeling those feelings inside yourself only without expressing them in some way is useless for creating a more loving relationship.

Your partner needs to know that you’re grateful. It shouldn’t be something that goes unsaid.

So, how can you show more gratitude?

There are hundreds of ways.

You can show gratitude by being more open in your conversations or by taking loving actions by buying gifts or suggesting ideas for spending some quality time.

a-thank-you-gift

Also, a simple “Thank you!” goes a long way.

We’ll never get enough of hearing a sincere “thank you” from someone.

Incorporate more fun into the relationship.

This is a simple relationship tip but very effective.

You two may have separate ideas of what fun is, but try doing things together that you both enjoy.

It doesn’t have to be anything big and extravagant, just try to find something simple, yet exciting.

The key is to do something where you both won’t know exactly what to expect.

This adds that “special spice” to the relationship and helps stave off boredom.

Go out of your way.

Yes, going out of your way for your partner may take some extra work, but it is always worth it in the end.

The Gottman Institute teaches that when you’re experiencing a rough patch in your marriage, it doesn’t take a major overhaul to improve your relationship.

Even slightly changing the dynamics of your relationship can have a dramatic and positive impact over time.

They suggest practising their motto, “Small Things Often.”

Examples of that include:
A six-second kiss before you leave for work.
A stress-reducing conversation about your partner’s day.
A sign of affection, a favour, an expression of gratitude (as said
before).

a-sign-of-affection

Daily positivity, however small, will create a path toward a more intimate, trusting, and satisfying relationship.

But, what does that mean for you?

Simply this,

Decide to go out of your way and make small loving gestures for your partner.

And do this out of the blue and your partner will really see that you care.

Do activities they want to do.

By making the sacrifice to do something you’re not all that interested in, it’ll make your partner feel loved and honoured.

Of course, there’ll be interests you share, but make it a point to join in for an activity they really enjoy more than you do.

If your partner loves going on cruises, and you have the money to go, perhaps it’s time to get on board (pun intended) and support them in that.

Who knows, you might actually end up enjoying it as well.

Keep their needs in mind.

As the years go by, it’s so easy to fall into patterns and restricted comfort zones, but you mustn’t forget about your partner’s needs.

If they enjoy an extra hug every once in a while, go give them a hug.

If they like to talk about feelings and plans, sit with them and talk.

If they enjoy cafes, take them out for a coffee every now and again.

Or surprise them with a takeaway coffee. My wife always enjoys these.

And the surprise factor goes a long way as well.

Say: “I love you” regularly.

This is such a small thing but can yield massive results in your relationship.

In fact, this is perhaps the most important relationship tip I can give you today to create a more loving relationship.

It really seems that you can never say these three simple words enough.

Say it, text it, email it, write it, show it.

Do what you have to, to remind your partner of your love for them.

Moreover, this “little” phrase actually helps communication, lightens the mood, and fosters a more loving relationship for many years to come.

And the best part about it is that it’s completely free.

It’s like having a permanent investment at your disposal that never loses its value and always yields a great return no matter how much you invest it.

It only has an upside with no downsides.

The only time it will blow up in your face is when there is an incongruity between your words and actions.

When you say “I love you” your words communicate the exact opposite through your actions.

Listen actively.

While it’s important to express your own feelings, it’s also critical that you truly listen to your partner’s feelings.

When you actively listen, you’ll begin to understand your partner in a new, deeper way.

active-listening

They’ll also feel loved because they’ll see you being attentive and they’ll feel like their thoughts and feelings matter.

The most important relationship tip I can give you when it comes to “listening actively” is to remain present.

True presence is a highly sought-after commodity in today’s relationships.

Romantic and platonic.

We all desire attention.

People will go to extreme ends to get attention these days.

Unfortunately, that’s also true for our “normal “relationships.

So remaining present and actively listening to your partner will go a long way in giving them the attention they desire.

It’s a simple but very effective relationship tip to create a more loving relationship.

Support their ideas.

Apart from having your presence and tension, your partner also desires your support.

As you most likely desire these.

Our partners want to feel that we have their backs in all situations.

They want to know that you are in their corner.

And vice versa.

It’s super important that you make sure that you fully support them in both words and actions.

There can’t be any discrepancy.

This feeling of support is important because it will help your partner feel loved.

Even when you don’t agree with your partner, it’s still important to remain loving and supportive.

This can be a hard one, but it is critical if you want to create a more loving relationship.

Therefore, never ever shoot down your partner’s ideas or become overly critical.

This will be the proverbial nail in your relationship’s coffin.

If you absolutely cannot agree with their ideas, then at least accept what they’re saying and suggest alternative ideas if needed.

But, still do this in a loving, gracious and supportive manner.

Nobody wants to be in a relationship with know it or somebody that put you down and make you feel bad about yourself.

Last Thoughts

Follow these relationship tips, encourage your partner to do the same, and it will go a long way in creating a more loving relationship.

If you found this helpful, please leave a comment below.

Remember, live and love fully!

About the author 

Gideon

Gideon is the founder of TheRelationshipGuy.com, a top-50 relationship blog (2021) and top-100 marriage blog (2021) focused on providing healthy relationship advice about love and life. He earned a Master's degree in theological studies before training as a professional counsellor and hypnotherapist (DipProfCouns., DipMSHT.) almost 10 years ago. He is currently pursuing further graduate Psychology studies at Massey University while working as a relationship and dating blogger the majority of the time. He has been married to his wife for over fifteen years and is the father of two children.

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