by Gideon 

June 14, 2017

GH, Gideon Hanekom, vision, Purpose, Action, Professional Development, High-Performance, Mentoring, Personal Development, Motivation, Success Psychology, Goal Setting and Achievement, Leadership, Management, Business Growth, Personal Branding, Marketing, Coaching, Life Coaching, Life Coach, Stress, Stress Management, Team, Development, Trainer, Consultant, Writer, Thought Leader, Speaker, Whangarei, Northland, New Zealand, New Life, Blog, solutions

Life is short. It can change in the blink of an eye. And as far as anyone knows, you only get to live once. So, you might as well make it as amazing as possible. You don’t have to settle for mediocrity and a life that fails to excite you.

You actually do have the power to create a life that fills you with joy, love, and enthusiasm.

Now, what an amazing life exactly needs to be qualified of course, but irrespective of how you see it, it’s still possible to create.

I don’t know anyone who does not want to have an amazing life, but as I said in many other posts, to create anything you want requires doing certain things differently from what you did before (otherwise you would already have what you want).

Building your life on certain principles and rules will always lead to the same outcomes.

Like a recipe for a cake.

The same recipe leads to the same cake; every time.

Building an amazing life is no different.

Before we look at a few simple things you need to consider building an amazing life, it’s important to identify what the term “amazing life” means to you.

Not everyone wants the same things.

Your amazing life won’t be exactly like anyone else’s. It might be quite different from what society’s saying makes for an amazing life.

For example, Instagram is just full of profiles of people showing off new sports cars and big houses and dream vacations.

But, the truth is that’s not for everyone. In fact, personally, I don’t aspire to have any of that.

I love our house. I love my 2009 AMG Merc.

And living in New Zealand is like being on vacation ALL the time.

So why go anywhere else?

And when I do want to vacation I go back to my childhood home and visit family in Africa which for many others is like a dream vacation.

GH, Gideon Hanekom, vision, Purpose, Action, Professional Development, High-Performance, Mentoring, Personal Development, Motivation, Success Psychology, Goal Setting and Achievement, Leadership, Management, Business Growth, Personal Branding, Marketing, Coaching, Life Coaching, Life Coach, Stress, Stress Management, Team, Development, Trainer, Consultant, Writer, Thought Leader, Speaker, Whangarei, Northland, New Zealand, New Life, Blog, solutions

Other people show off their six-pack abs or big biceps.

Again, not really something that is under the top 3 on my list of an amazing life.

Being healthy and fit is yes, but not having big arms. It’s pointless for the most part.

But, being able to run fast and compete around the world is something that I could get excited about. Now, that might do nothing for someone else, and that’s OK.

It’s what I think constitutes an amazing life.

So, with that being said, let’s get started.

Brainstorm your amazing life

Like I said, you’re more likely to have an amazing life if you have an idea of what your amazing life looks like.

Take a couple of days and consider all the possibilities.

Consider every aspect of your life:

  • Social circle
  • Romantic relationship
  • Finances
  • Career
  • Health
  • Hobbies
  • Location

The truth is you can do some pretty amazing things over the course of your life, but you can’t do everything. You have to prioritise.

Do this:

  • Imagine you’re at the end of your amazing life, and you’re looking back over it. What you see? What happened? What did you do? What you avoid? Who did you spend time with? What things that you pursue? What amazing experiences that you have?
  • Now ask yourself – what made that life possible?
  • Then ask yourself – what does that tell me about what I need to start putting in place now?

Get rid of everything that is unnecessary

Avoid unnecessary distractions and responsibilities.

You probably have several things requiring time and space in your life that don’t provide an adequate return.

Get these things out of your life.

It’s so easy falling into a trap believing that you need certain things in your life, when in fact you don’t.

Go through your life with a fine comb and identify everything that is unnecessary – clutter so to speak.

Then commit to getting rid of it as soon as you can.

GH, Gideon Hanekom, vision, Purpose, Action, Professional Development, High-Performance, Mentoring, Personal Development, Motivation, Success Psychology, Goal Setting and Achievement, Leadership, Management, Business Growth, Personal Branding, Marketing, Coaching, Life Coaching, Life Coach, Stress, Stress Management, Team, Development, Trainer, Consultant, Writer, Thought Leader, Speaker, Whangarei, Northland, New Zealand, New Life, Blog, solutions

If your wardrobe is too full, give some of your clothes to charity.

If you’ve got too much spare cash that you’re just wasting on stupid toys every month, help some less fortunate people out.

If the house is too big with unnecessary space, consider moving to a smaller apartment or house.

Get rid of any access furniture and stuff filling your garage.

Decluttering your life is very liberating. Sadly though, it’s not something we do nearly as much as we should.

Accumulate resources

Making any changes in your life is stressful.

However, changes are a lot less stressful if you have plenty of supportive people in your life and enough money in your bank account.

Creating an amazing life is a lot harder when you lack healthy relationships and enough material resources.

Now, I’d be the first to say that we probably need far less than we realise or believe, but research has shown that having an income under a certain line does impact our happiness.

Conversely, earning above a certain line does not increase our happiness levels exponentially as our income goes up. So there is a balance.

For me, the key is to think of what you need to move your life forward, and then focusing on accumulating enough of these things.

GH, Gideon Hanekom, vision, Purpose, Action, Professional Development, High-Performance, Mentoring, Personal Development, Motivation, Success Psychology, Goal Setting and Achievement, Leadership, Management, Business Growth, Personal Branding, Marketing, Coaching, Life Coaching, Life Coach, Stress, Stress Management, Team, Development, Trainer, Consultant, Writer, Thought Leader, Speaker, Whangarei, Northland, New Zealand, New Life, Blog, solutions

Get started

Nothing happens until you start doing something.

You might need some time to plan and prepare, but time is passing by.

It’s important to get started. You can fine-tune your approach after you begin receiving feedback from your efforts.

This is such an important principle that a lot of people miss.

Too often we sit around planning in our heads what we’re going to do, but we never actually get to the doing part.

In the meantime, others around us keep moving forward with their lives because they’ve planned just enough to get started, but with one big difference – they actually started.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of “analysis paralysis” but it basically states that you can render yourself paralysed by too much analysis and planning.

The act of preparation might feel like you’re doing something or going places, but it’s an illusion.

Busyness is not the same as productivity.

Any result is better than no result.

Because once you have a result, you can fine-tune your approach, strategy or system next time around.

And even if you ended up with a very poor result, you’re still better than the person still stuck in planning mode.

So the long and short of it is, get started. An amazing life won’t happen until you do.

Deal with negative emotions

Negative emotions, like fear or stress, are some of the most powerful things in the universe.

They can stop you from ever pursuing your ideal life in the first place.

Negative emotions can also slow your progress considerably.

So many people are stuck in a cycle of negative emotions that they end up spending all the time and energy on dealing with that rather than creating an amazing life.

Fortunately, there are so many strategies and tools available these days that you really don’t have any reason or excuse to remain imprisoned by negative emotions.

But again, it comes down to having the awareness of what’s going on and then mustering the courage to do something about it.

And to then actually, do something about it!

GH, Gideon Hanekom, vision, Purpose, Action, Professional Development, High-Performance, Mentoring, Personal Development, Motivation, Success Psychology, Goal Setting and Achievement, Leadership, Management, Business Growth, Personal Branding, Marketing, Coaching, Life Coaching, Life Coach, Stress, Stress Management, Team, Development, Trainer, Consultant, Writer, Thought Leader, Speaker, Whangarei, Northland, New Zealand, New Life, Blog, solutions

I challenge you to use one or more of the many tools available to you: counselling, positive thinking, meditation, hypnosis, prayer, or any of the other psychological techniques that exist today.

Don’t allow an amazing life to elude you because you are stuck in an unnecessary loop of negative emotions.

I appreciate how hard it is for you, but I also know there are help and assistance available.

Raise your standards.

I’ve learned something very powerful over the last few years.

Your inner standards or bar that you’ve set for yourself, determines the quality of your life.

People don’t want to hear this, but I’ve discovered this to be true in life.

Whatever you’re OK with will set the tone for your life and you’ll never rise above it.

Here are some facts:

You’ll never make a million dollars in a year if you’re satisfied with making $200,000.

You’ll never lose those last 20 pounds if you’re okay with carrying them around for another decade.

You will never have a great marriage if you’ve settled for an average one.

You will never be an inspiration for your kids if you’re okay with being uninspired yourself.

Accepting mediocrity is par for the course, but it’s not compatible with living an amazing life.

If you want more, you have to become more. I never used to get this, but it makes sense now.

GH, Gideon Hanekom, vision, Purpose, Action, Professional Development, High-Performance, Mentoring, Personal Development, Motivation, Success Psychology, Goal Setting and Achievement, Leadership, Management, Business Growth, Personal Branding, Marketing, Coaching, Life Coaching, Life Coach, Stress, Stress Management, Team, Development, Trainer, Consultant, Writer, Thought Leader, Speaker, Whangarei, Northland, New Zealand, New Life, Blog, solutions

Having an amazing life requires becoming more.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to make more money or do more things, but it does mean you have to expand as a person in yourself.

Because when your inner world expands, your outer world also does.

Be flexible. Be committed to your goals, but flexible in your approach.

You’ll find yourself presented with some interesting opportunities.

Some of those opportunities might provide a highway to achieving your amazing life.

But it’s important to keep an open mind.

Not all opportunities are created equally. Some are dead ends; even disasters waiting to happen.

If you want to create an amazing life, part of that requires having discernment and wisdom to know the difference.

I’ve learned that having the right people around you to ask for advice and guidance, goes a long way in knowing the difference between good opportunities and when you are simply polishing a turd.

No man is an island and you shouldn’t rely on your own experience only. I love the saying that goes, “learn from experience, preferably others’.”

Achieving amazing goals in your life requires having focus, but that doesn’t mean being rigid in your approach.

If someone can show you a more appropriate or superior way of achieving your goal, be flexible and give it a shot.

If it fails, then you learn something new. And that’s always good.

GH, Gideon Hanekom, vision, Purpose, Action, Professional Development, High-Performance, Mentoring, Personal Development, Motivation, Success Psychology, Goal Setting and Achievement, Leadership, Management, Business Growth, Personal Branding, Marketing, Coaching, Life Coaching, Life Coach, Stress, Stress Management, Team, Development, Trainer, Consultant, Writer, Thought Leader, Speaker, Whangarei, Northland, New Zealand, New Life, Blog, solutions

So, be committed to creating an amazing life (whatever that means to you), but be flexible in how you go about achieving it.

Sometimes, just by becoming more flexible, you discover your “amazing life” was a lot closer than you thought.

Be persistent.

Let’s get real – there will be plenty of obstacles along the way.

The question is, however, are you going to allow them to derail your efforts?

You’ll have bad days.

We all do.

There will be times you lose hope. Everyone has lost hope at one point or another.

The important thing, however, is to keep moving forward.

You can overcome many obstacles (probably most of what you’ll face in life) if you’re motivated enough and don’t give up.

It’s very hard to beat someone who refuses to stay down when knocked down.

Just keep moving forward, which brings us back to the first point – getting clear on what an “amazing life” means to you.

You will only move forward and persist, in spite of obstacles, if you truly believe in the value of what you’re pursuing.

When something isn’t that important to us, we tend to give up at the first sign of resistance.

So, make sure you are chasing the right kind of life.

GH, Gideon Hanekom, vision, Purpose, Action, Professional Development, High-Performance, Mentoring, Personal Development, Motivation, Success Psychology, Goal Setting and Achievement, Leadership, Management, Business Growth, Personal Branding, Marketing, Coaching, Life Coaching, Life Coach, Stress, Stress Management, Team, Development, Trainer, Consultant, Writer, Thought Leader, Speaker, Whangarei, Northland, New Zealand, New Life, Blog, solutions

Last comments

If your life isn’t as amazing as you’d like, it’s time to take matters into your own hands.

Don’t wait for someone else to make it better.

Tap into other people yes, but it’s still up to YOU to start.

Create a target, remove the distractions from your life, manage your negative emotions, and never give up.

This is the recipe for success for any goal you may have.

Avoid settling for an average life. You can be and experience so much more!

About the author 

Gideon

Gideon is the founder of TheRelationshipGuy.com, a top-50 relationship blog (2021) and top-100 marriage blog (2021) focused on providing healthy relationship advice about love and life. He earned a Master's degree in theological studies before training as a professional counsellor and hypnotherapist (DipProfCouns., DipMSHT.) almost 10 years ago. He is currently pursuing further graduate Psychology studies at Massey University while working as a relationship and dating blogger the majority of the time. He has been married to his wife for over fifteen years and is the father of two children.

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