How to Save Your Relationship with 7 Pieces of Psychological Advice on Relationships

by The Relationship Guy
August 12, 2017

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In this post, we’re looking at how you can save your relationship with seven pieces of psychological advice on relationships, as I’m a huge believer in learning from the experience of other people.

We can sometimes shortcut the process between learning and results simply by learning the right strategies from others who know better.

Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.

H. Jackson Brown

I’m a big fan of the concept of “modelling.” 

It’s the idea that says by “modelling something or someone” you replicate much of the same results in your own life.

Think about this for a moment, irrespective of what you’re going through with your partner right now, at this very moment there are couples who have extremely solid, happy and fulfilling relationships which you can learn from.

Even if you’re trying to overcome a really crappy situation right now, there is a couple somewhere, who has been there, done that, and got through it with the t-shirt. And you can learn from them.

You can essentially “model” what they’re doing in order to replicate some of the same results they are getting.

psychological advice on relationships

The truth is that happy couples do certain things completely differently from unhappy couples. It’s got very little to do with luck, personalities, circumstances, family influence, finances, personal anxiety or feelings of depression, etc.

It’s all about how you choose to respond to circumstances that make the difference. It’s also about the quality of the foundation you have as a couple that determines the strength of your relationship in dealing with whatever life throws at you.

So, the question is: would you like to have a stronger, happier relationship or marriage?

If so, you have to realise that happiness in your relationship is not something that happens by accident. Happiness in a relationship is rather the result of several small things done on a daily basis. And the good news is that these small tasks are within your reach.

With just a little time and attention, you have the potential to grow your relationship into a great source of happiness for both you and your partner.

To help you do that, I will share with you seven (7) simple pieces of advice from couples therapists that you can start applying to your situation to strengthen your relationship, right away.

But, why couples therapists? Because they see a wide range of relationship issues on a daily basis.

Their advice can help you heal and save your relationship. And once you start taking action to make these tips positive habits, you’re putting yourself in a position to create a joyful, healthy, fulfilling, and positive relationship.

7 Pieces of Pieces of Psychological Advice that Could Save Your Relationship:

psychological advice on relationships

Pay Attention to Your Argument Patterns

Are you arguing about the same topics repeatedly without ever resolving them?

If so, you could be run the risk of falling into negative patterns of conflict resolution which have the power to disintegrate your relationship.

You need to make time to work through these issues together before they become bigger challenges. Try to find positive solutions that bring benefits to both of you.

In addition, noticing the patterns can help you break them.

As soon as you see yourself slipping into the same argument pattern, stop right there.

Use what we call “pattern interrupts,” which shifts the energy of the moment.

Taking time out to go away and calm down before coming back to deal with the issue in a more controlled manner, could make a huge difference in your long term happiness.

Encourage Each Other

Does your partner want to get a college degree?

Do you want to pursue a new hobby?

psychological advice on relationships

It’s important that couples support each other to build a strong relationship.

This also means embracing any changes that occur over time. Encourage each other in pursuing new dreams, goals, and activities.

Make Your Partner (and Your Relationship) a Top Priority

Instead of putting your mother, father, or another family member ahead of your partner, make your spouse a top priority.

It is super easy to get caught in what experts call, Triangles and Cross-Generational Coalitions, which effectively cause couples to be in competition with one another rather than play on the same team.

Your spouse is your top priority above everything else. Everything else benefits from a healthy relationship between you.

Learn to Tolerate Differences

You’re unique and different from your partner. That’s normal.

However, let the little quirks and issues bring you closer together instead of farther apart.

Let your strengths compliment your partner. Let your partner’s talents shore up your weaknesses. This way, you can lean on and uplift each other.

psychological advice on relationships

It’s vital to learn to live with (and love) differences.

Your partner’s way of doing things can be just as good as yours.

Do you have a specific way of loading the dishwasher that differs from your partner?

Do you handle your child’s homework assignments in a unique way?

These types of differences need tolerance and acceptance for a relationship to stay healthy.

Surprise Each Other

Surprises, big and small, can make your relationship stronger.

Send your partner a nice text message. Send some chocolates or flowers to their office.

psychological advice on relationships

These small gestures say more than you can ever imagine.

Listen to Each Other

Couples therapists often hear complaints about one partner not listening to the other one during conversations or arguments.

Effective communication is the key to a thriving relationship, and listening to understand is at the heart of that.

psychological advice on relationships

If you don’t listen to each other, you can’t understand the thoughts, feelings, and issues that matter, which means you run the risk of drifting apart emotionally first, and physically eventually.

Avoid Letting Children Take Over Your Lives and Relationship

Although you need to love and care for your children in the very best ways that you can, it’s also important that they don’t dominate your entire relationship.

You must make your relationship or marriage a priority to serve your kids best.

psychological advice on relationships

So, there you have it – seven pieces of advice from couples therapists that could improve or save your relationship.

The truth is you can have a strong, healthy, and joyous relationship with your partner.

But it starts by always remembering that your partner is the most important thing in your life, and making a point of it to show your love each day.

Please leave your comments or questions below.

About the author 

The Relationship Guy

Gideon Hanekom is the founder of, a top-50 relationship blog (2021) and top-100 marriage blog (2021) which focuses on providing healthy relationship advice about love and life. He earned a Master's degree in theological studies before training as a professional counsellor almost 10 years ago. He also completed graduate studies in Psychology and is currently pursuing postgraduate Psychology studies at Massey University. He has been married to his wife for over seventeen years and is the dad of two children. His articles have been published on and The Good Men Project.

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