September 11

Enemies of Love: Why are Loneliness and Sadness the Worst?

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 Love is a broad topic that no one can ever get to understand nor explain fully. Most people know of the good that comes out of love, but are you also familiar with enemies of love? Enemies of love, such as sadness and loneliness tend to hinder people from receiving and reciprocating this beautiful feeling, which is what this post is about. Guest author, Miranda Davis shares her thoughts on these enemies of love and what to do about them.

Every story has a flip side – the good and the bad, the right and the wrong, and love is no exception as it has some enemies.

But what are these enemies of love?

Loneliness and sadness, in particular, are significant hindrances to any love story.

Let’s start with the characteristics of a sad and lonely person to help you understand how such a person can’t find love or the reasons why their love stories are often tragic.

Characteristics of a Sad and Lonely Person

Sometimes you encounter a person with a love story that had a sad ending.

Often, however, it was the sad and lonely person who played a huge part in spoiling that relationship.

Let’s look at a few characteristics of such a person.

They Keep to Themselves

Firstly, a sad and lonely person will often keep to themselves, and it is very difficult for such a person to create and sustain a successful love relationship.

A person who wants to stay alone, and wants no one else near them, tends to unconsciously repel anyone who comes close to them, even when they desire a love relationship. 

They Are Pessimistic

Secondly, when you are lonely and sad, there is always that lingering feeling that things will get worse, which might not actually be the case at all.

But with such a mindset, you tend to only think the worse about a relationship.

Consequently, there is no way you can make a meaningful connection with someone else if all you see is negativity or problems.

For example, let’s imagine your date is slightly late for a date.

However, when they eventually show up and give you a valid explanation, you still feel disappointed with them. 

Instead of looking at the bright side and the fact that your date gave you a good reason for being late, you choose to look at the mistake of being late instead.

Having a pessimistic mindset like this can be a real enemy of love, as it may hinder a relationship from ever being a safe space.

No love relationship can survive the constant scorn of a pessimist.

They Are Closed Off Emotionally

Thirdly, to fall in love, you must let your guard down and become vulnerable so that someone can connect with you meaningfully.

The idea of you ever finding lasting love while being closed off emotionally is a myth.

Or at least, highly unlikely.

For trying to love a closed-off person is exhausting, since you end up doing is give without ever receiving anything in return.

Very few people will be OK with that.

vulnerable to connect

What to Do If The Enemies of Love Are Running Or Ruining Your Life

If you want to get rid of these two common enemies of love, you must be willing to make significant changes.

The following are just some of the things that will help you to avoid a love story with a sad ending.

Count Your Blessings

It is true that life often gives us a few raw deals, but there is always something to be grateful for.

For instance, the experiences you share with your partner or having a caring and loving partner.

Those seemingly “little” things are blessings not to be overlooked.

It would be best if you appreciated the little things that you have.

Once you learn how to appreciate what you have, these two enemies of love tend to fade away, and you will be able to feel, give, and receive love.

Miranda Davis

Look At The Brighter Side of Things

When you switch from being a pessimist to be an optimist, so much good starts happening in your life.

Your days will seem longer now with more purpose.

You also will become far happier and more content with having a relationship.

And in this state, your heart will be more open and willing to accommodate someone else.

With an optimistic mindset, you will enjoy the company of your partner or a date without blocking and sabotaging yourself.

Having a new outlook on things, for example, will give you the confidence to read through the best dating sites review as a possible first step to finding your soul mate.

Take Good Care of Yourself

It’s very difficult and uncommon for a sad and lonely person to let a total stranger come into their lives and take care of them.

In fact, since they can barely do it for themselves, letting someone else do it would actually be downright selfish.

However, as a changed person who is open, positive, and ready to love and be loved, you must learn to take care of yourself first, so that you don’t burden whoever decides to love you.

Eat right, exercise, read, dance, and have fun.

Great things happen when love starts from within first.

Miranda Davis

Learn To Enjoy Your Own Company

Be happy in your space, and be proud of yourself.

Do what makes you happy and you will most likely attract love into your life.

Even during the quarantine many people find themselves in right now.

Love loves love, so love yourself first so that you can also love someone.

Miranda Davis

You must, however, distinguish between enjoying your own company and keeping to yourself.

In both scenarios you are alone, but the latter is characterised by sadness and loneliness.

Remember, it is totally possible to be alone but not lonely.

But it’s contentment and a positive mood that makes all the difference when eventually finding love.

optimism over pessimism

Get Into Practicing Healthy Habits

If you drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes to escape reality, stop that immediately.

It’s not a long-term nor effective strategy anyway.

And they tend to only worsen the impact of the enemies of love in your life.

Instead, change to drinking water, quit smoking and perhaps try something like meditation.

These types of practices or new habits will help you get your life back on track and ultimately give you peace.

And with such a plan in play, you won’t have to think about the enemies of love anymore or ever again.

Food For Thought

Listen, even with a new mindset and a positive mood, you should realise that life will always have its ups and downs.

It’s LIFE after all!

But you must make a conscious decision every day to live your best life to keep the enemies of love out of your life.

Do what it takes to stay in high spirits and keep aiming to live the life you are meant to live.

Take Away

Have you ever heard of the saying that your worst enemy is yourself?

Well, YOU are the only one who can decide to change your life or remain the same.

You can blame the world for your situation, but deep down, you know when you allow things like the enemies of love (loneliness and sadness) run and ruin your life.

The same way you gave them a place to stay, should be the same way you evict them and finally let love and peace prevail in your life.

To receive love, you must condition your heart to give love first.

So why not practice by loving yourself first and see how easy it will be for you to like someone else when a love opportunity presents itself.

Leave a comment below and let us know how you feel.



Tags

enemies of love, love, optimism, positive mood, positivity, sadness and loneliness, self-love


About the author
Miranda Davis

Miranda Davis is a freelance writer in relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.

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