Many people have plans for their business, finances, or even fitness, but not too many have a healthy relationship habits action plan.
Why do we often plan for important things in life but very seldomly for our most important relationships?
I believe it can be helpful to frequently reminisce and reflect on your relationship to strengthen and reinforce your connection.
Building and growing a strong emotional bond with your spouse is not a once-off activity but rather something we must actively plan for and work on.
One good way to do that is through storytelling.
Sharing with each other memories and incidents from our own perspective will give our partners a look behind the curtains, so to speak, and help them understand how we tick and what we enjoy or dislike.
That information is relationship gold.
But you may also want to write your responses to specific questions down in a journal and then discuss them with each other.
For example, you can sit down together as a couple and answer one or two of these each evening for a week.
Questions for a healthy relationship habits action plan
- How do you show your love for each other in little ways and big ways?
- How do you divide tasks and household chores?
- Do you have an endearing term or “pet name” for each other?
- Is there a personality difference in your partner or spouse that you have learned to respect and affirm?
- What is one compromise you have made with one another?
- How often do you say or demonstrate, “I love you!”? What are some examples?
- What do you like to do together?
- What was one of your favorite dating or anniversary celebrations?
- What was one of your favorite birthday, graduation, or promotion celebrations?
- What has influenced your sensitivity to each other’s needs?
In addition to that, you can also adopt certain daily practices as part of a healthy relationship habits action plan to further strengthen your connection as a couple.
Some experts call these daily rituals of connection.
Daily practice example
Make a list of five special things your partner has done for you.
Share your lists with each other and do at least one of the things on the other’s list before the next conversation.
An option would be to share three things you would like your spouse to do for you that are ways of demonstrating love to you.
But help one another by giving the other a positive target at which to aim, for example: “I really like it when you __________________________.”
The take-away point here is that creating an intimate bond with your partner isn’t something you do once or just every now and again expecting it to last forever.
As humans, we are emotional beings and how others make us feel is important for how we feel about them.
Thus, as couples, we need to aim above all else to create a relational situation in which we feel safe, protected, wanted, desired, and good.
That’s why having a healthy relationship habits action plan can be so helpful.
Because when good vibes are lacking in our marriage, the whole relationship usually struggles to stand the tests of time.