Knowing if you have found the perfect person to spend the rest of your life with can be challenging. While love is a priority, you should consider several other factors that build blocks of a good marriage. In this post, family psychologist and guest author, Cari Carter, shares a checklist of 10 important qualities your future husband must-have.
Most people get into relationships because of intense chemistry and romantic feelings.
However, while these are key in every fruitful relationship, you shouldn’t overlook the qualities your future husband must have that will help your relationship go beyond your initial physical attraction.
Even though it is understandably difficult to predict your future husband, it is prudent to know his characteristics.
The most important qualities your future husband must have do not concern their looks or social status but what’s important for you and your husband to live happily in your marriage.
Let’s now look at 10 specific qualities your future husband must have that you need to pay attention to.
A good husband should be appreciative of all the things their spouse does.
Any person that you intend to end up with should make you feel appreciated, wanted, and loved.
While men may not be good at communicating or showing affection as women would, this shouldn’t be an excuse for your future husbands’ failure to show the appreciation that you deserve.
You will know and feel it when someone is in love with you.
If you don’t feel loved by your spouse, you might be directing your valuable dating time, energy, and effort towards someone who eventually won’t reciprocate when you’re married.
Surprisingly, most people learn the hard way that holding on to someone who doesn’t appreciate them is worse than being single.
Appreciation for you as a person is definitely one of the qualities your future husband must-have if you want to have a chance at marital bliss.
Loyalty is undoubtedly among the key things to look for in a relationship and a crucial quality your future husband must-have.
Similarly, fidelity in any marriage requires 100% commitment from your husband or spouse.
A good husband will know that successful marriage takes a lot of work, sacrifice, and effort.
Essentially, loyalty is at the core of true love and a crucial component of any happy, safe, healthy, and lasting marriage.
Women generally feel safe and secure if their husbands are loyal.
Loyal husbands should be attentive and listen carefully to their wives.
They also speak highly and stand up for their spouses in every situation.
A comforting spouse should also be among the qualities your future husband must-have if you want a happy relationship.
Your husband should make you relaxed regardless of the situations at hand.
You should feel at ease turning to your husband during tough times without worry.
Most women have anxieties during the onset of the relationship or marriage, especially worries about being seen as needy, distant, or overly demanding.
However, your future husband should eliminate these worries and you shouldn’t be worried but rather be comfortable being who you are.
And if things get tough, you should be comfortable expressing your feelings around your husband.
A Good Listener
Listening and communication skills are important traits to look for and definitely important qualities your future husband must-have for many reasons.
Your husband should pay close attention to everything you say or at least always be interested.
Unfortunately, many might claim to be a good listeners, but active listening is not an innate ability that everyone has.
It is a cultivated skill and a gift that couples should embrace and commit to learning to succeed in their relationship.
That said, a perfect husband should be an active listener because poor communication and listening skills can lead to problems in your relationship or marriage.
Thoughtful and romantic husbands are sure keepers.
Such men are less concerned with their individual needs and focus on the wellbeing of the relationship.
A good husband should ensure that the special lady knows how much she means by demonstrating this.
Being thoughtful includes caring about your feelings, sharing romantic moments, being close, going out together, and generally enjoying each other’s company.
Goes an Extra Mile
Every woman certainly wants a husband who treats them right.
As such, willingness to go the extra mile to make the relationship work should be among the qualities your future husband must-have.
Interestingly, while this is a common feature that any man you meet from the best online dating sites claims to have, not all can demonstrate this ability.
A good husband should focus on your needs and be ready to do anything to ensure that you are satisfied or feel supported.
Your spouse should be willing to make sacrifices to make you happy and ensure that the relationship remains fruitful.
Moderation Around Substances
Dating the coolest guy who drinks and goes out every other weekend may be fun, especially for youths.
However, this becomes less fun if you count on the same man to work hard and help provide for your mortgage.
Soon, you will be counting on him to feed the baby at night and other roles.
This may become impossible if your husband is a binge drinker who comes home late at night drunk.
While money can’t buy happiness, it can cause discontent, unhappiness, anger, and frustrations in many relationships.
That being said, however, virtually no studies exist that support the still popular belief that financial problems are the number one cause of divorce.
Recent studies have found financial problems to be poor predictors of divorce.*
But, still, getting into marriage without mutual financial awareness is a recipe for disaster.
A quality your future husband must have is to prioritize expenditures, understand debt, and save for the future.
That will make things far easier in your marriage.
Flexible with Gender Roles
In the current era, one of the qualities your future husband must not have is abiding by traditional beliefs that women should not work and their sole responsibility is to take care of kids and home.
Instead, the current generation believes that women deserve and should desire everything that men want.
Even if it seems romantic that your future husband is the breadwinner when starting your family, this may change with time.
Therefore, your future husband should give you unlimited flexibility to find other fulfilling roles apart from homemaking.
Puts You First
A good husband should prioritize your feelings and the wellness of the relationship before anything else.
This might be tough, with friends or family, careers, etc.
However, despite all these, keeping your spouse the number one is an important contributor to a fruitful relationship and happy marriage.
This includes sometimes sacrificing Saturday afternoon drinks with friends, tending to you when necessary and other situations that prove that they put you first.
Finding the right spouse is certainly challenging.
However, the above-mentioned qualities your future husband must have can guide you into finding someone with whom you can create an everlasting bond.
Note that these traits shouldn’t apply only when looking for a future husband.
You should also consider practising them in your life in general.
That said, do you have any other additional qualities your future husband must not have?
Please share them in the comments below!
*Andersen, J. (2005). Financial Problems and Divorce. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 43. 149-161.