Work With Me

If something has been stuck for a while, and you've reached the point where understanding it on your own isn't enough, this is where we can work together more directly.

I work with individuals, couples, and families.

In person in Ceres, in the Western Cape.

Online with people in South Africa, New Zealand, Australia, and elsewhere in the world.

What working with me is like

I don't do open-ended counselling. I never have.

What that means in practice is that every conversation we have has a direction, an aim, and a frame that holds it together.

We're not going to drift in circles for months.

We're going to work out what's actually driving the situation, what's getting in the way of it shifting, and what you can do next.

I lean on three things to make that work.

One: A clear framework for what's going on.

The Six Needs Framework, which underpins my thinking on this site, gives us a shared map for what's driving each person in the room.

Once we can see the map, the work gets a lot more focused.

Most couples find that the moment they understand each other's profile, half the noise drops out of the conversation.

Two: A practical, solution-focused style.

I draw on cognitive behaviour therapy and brief solution-focused methods, both of which are built around the idea that talk needs to translate into change.

We'll spend time understanding what's happening, but we'll also spend time on what you're going to do differently this week.

Three: An honest, direct way of working.

I'm warm, but I'm not soft.

If I think you're missing something, I'll say so.

If I think one of you is contributing to the problem more than the other is willing to admit, I'll name it carefully.

The work is the truth, not the comfort.

What We'll Work On

The shape of the work depends on what you bring, but the common threads look like this.

For couples, we usually look at what each of you needs that isn't being met, how you've each been trying to meet those needs (sometimes in ways that work, sometimes in ways that quietly cost you), and what a more honest, sustainable version of the relationship would look like.

We work on communication, but we don't stop there.

Communication is the surface.

The real work is underneath it.

For individuals, we work on what's driving your patterns, what's pulling you off centre, and what kind of life you're actually trying to build.

Often, the relationship issues a person brings to individual sessions turn out to be downstream of something more personal: a long-running pattern, an unmet need, a part of themselves they've been avoiding.

We start where you are and follow the thread.

For families, we work on the system.

Families have their own patterns, roles, and pressures that build over the years.

We work on understanding those dynamics and building more functional ways of relating, particularly through the transitions that make families harder: adolescence, conflict, illness, and change.

Who I tend to work with

The people who get the most out of working with me usually share a few things.

They're tired of going in circles and want something to shift.

They're open to looking at themselves, not just at the other person.

They want practical understanding, not endless reflection.

They've often tried other approaches that helped a bit but didn't quite get to the root of it.

I work especially well with couples who can both show up.

I'm honest with people about when individual work needs to come first.

I work mostly with adults, and I don't specialise in working with children, though I have plenty of life experience as a parent of two, and I'm comfortable working with parents on the parenting side of their lives.

How sessions work

In person. Available in Ceres, Western Cape.

Online. Available globally by video. I work regularly with people in South Africa, New Zealand, and Australia, and I'm comfortable with the time-zone juggling.

Format. Sessions are usually 60 minutes to 90 minutes, depending on what we're working on.

Length of work. Most couples I work with find a meaningful shift in three to six sessions. Some come back later for shorter pieces of work as things evolve. I'll always be honest with you about whether more or less time is likely to help.

Where to start

If you're not sure whether working with me is right for you, the simplest first step is to take the Six Needs Lens, the free assessment on this site.

It'll give you a clearer picture of what's going on for you, and it'll give us a useful starting point if you do decide to reach out.

If you'd rather just talk it through and enquire about cost, you can email me or send me a message on WhatsApp.

I read everything that comes in.