7 Elements to Pay Attention To When Looking for A Soul Mate


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How do you know when you’ve found your soul mate? Personally, I believe that it comes down to a combination of timing in life, personal awareness, knowing what you want, maturity, openness, and luck. But, even though these are very tricky, I do also believe that there are 7 elements you need to pay attention to (and be OK with) before you can start thinking of someone as you “soulmate.” That’s the focus of this post today.

7 Elements to Pay Attention To When Looking for A Soul Mate pinterest pin

 Before we look at them in more depth, here are 7 elements to pay attention to when looking for a soulmate:

  1. Morals and Beliefs
  2. Communication
  3. Respect
  4. Family
  5. Personality
  6. Hobbies and Interests
  7. Conflict

Now, some people will tell you that they “just know”, while others can identify several characteristics and reasons why they seem to perfectly mesh with their relationship counterpart.

I’m leaning towards the latter group.

But, first, how do I define “soulmate” in this post?

I like this definition of “soulmate” by Urban Dictionary:

It’s like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don’t make you a better person … you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens … you’ll always love them.

So, for those of you who haven’t found a soul mate yet, there are things we can be looking for to “speed up” the process.

There are always going to be things we like and dislike about others, but the true test is deciding whether or not we can lovingly accept the negative attributes.

In other words, are there any dealbreakers.

Sometimes we can care about someone very much but discover that there is some factor that we simply cannot accept for one reason or another.

Is that enough to call quits?

Here are 7 elements to pay attention to when looking for a soul mate:

Morals & Beliefs

Everyone comes with their own set of morals and beliefs.

We all know that we should be open, honest, and accepting of others.

But oftentimes when our core beliefs differ, it’s hard to have a lasting relationship.

This is why you’ll want to have deep discussions about faith, morals, and beliefs with potential partners early on.

If someone isn’t a fit at this deep of a level, you should seriously consider whether the relationship is even worth getting serious about.

Communication

You’ll hear over and over that communication is the key.

There are different ways of communicating and you need to figure out the best way to communicate with your partner.

At the same time, you need to know that you can live with this communication method.

Some partners are big on talking, while others are more sensitive to nonverbal communication.

Will their way of communicating be enough for you?

Respect

Does the potential partner respect you, your body, and your family?

You’re one of a kind, so you shouldn’t give yourself to just anyone.

It’s crucial that you feel he or she takes care of you and your family.

Do you feel enough respect from him or her?

Family

You need to mesh well with their family and vice versa (if they’re close with his or her family).

But even if they’re not, what if you are?

How will that impact him or her when you want to spend time with family when they do not value it as important?

You will have to talk about this early on.

Also, discussions about family also include your hopes and dreams when it comes to your own future family.

Do you want to get married someday?

If so, how many kids would you like to have?

And if not, is that OK?

Personality

Your personality plays a big role in deciding your compatibility with others.

However, it’s always up for debate whether or not it’s best to be with someone with a similar personality or someone with an opposite personality.

In this case, you’ll have to decide your own preference and see how it works out for you.

What are you OK to live with?

Hobbies & Interests

It’s pretty certain that you won’t share every hobby and interest that your partner enjoys.

However, it definitely helps the relationship when you have things in common.

1) This will provide you with activities to do with each other in order to deepen your relationship, and 2) there will be plenty of topics for conversation.

Win-win.

Conflict

Even the most perfect couples deal with conflict from time to time.

So, both you and your partner need to learn the best methods to get through arguments effectively.

Try not to lash out in anger, but instead strive to understand your partner.

Instead of playing the blame game, discuss your problems calmly.

If your potential partner attacks you or consistently ignores your feelings, then it’s perhaps not a good fit.

How you fight is just as important as how you connect.

Long Term Relationships 

When you first meet someone, you may be attracted to his or her looks or personality.

And as you get to know each other better, you’ll be able to see the clues as to whether or not you’ve found your true soul mate.

My advice is to try not to rush things along because anything worth having is worth waiting for!

At the same time, you definitely should be having deep conversations about future plans and beliefs at an appropriate time in the relationship.

This way if you run into a snag and find out that you can’t be together, you won’t be as emotionally invested.

After all, you don’t want to waste as much time in a dead-end relationship.

My biggest piece of advice is to keep working on yourself.

Make sure YOU are in a good place first and open for when the Universe presents you with opportunities.

Avoid feeling and being desperate, forcing things, and rushing into the wrong relationships.

Grow, be open, have fun, live fully … and let the chips fall as they may.

Just keep looking with an open heart and mind, because everyone’s soul mate is out there somewhere.

About the author 

Gideon

Gideon is the founder of TheRelationshipGuy.com, a top-50 relationship blog (2021) and top-100 marriage blog (2021) which focuses on providing healthy relationship advice about love and life. He earned a Master's degree in theological studies before training as a professional counsellor and hypnotherapist (DipProfCouns., DipMSHT.) almost 10 years ago. He completed a graduate diploma in Psychology and is currently pursuing postgraduate Psychology studies at Massey University. He has been married to his wife for nearly sixteen years and is the father of two children. His articles have been published on Marriage.com and The Good Men Project.

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