If you want to create a stable and happy relationship, there is actually a ratio you need to adhere to.
Yep, you read that right – an actual number you need to know and work hard to maintain.
Research has shown that relationships and marriages require at least five positive interactions for each negative one.
That’s a 5:1 ratio if you didn’t get that.
But, what is a good interaction?
That’s very good, and important, question.
Something you probably want to know.
Well, a good, or positive, interaction, can be something as simple as a fun afternoon, a positive conversation, or a good hug.
Or, laughing together.
Having good positive interactions aren’t necessarily huge things.
In fact, most of the time they are pretty “insignificant” but hugely important for long-term satisfaction and happiness in our relationships.
But what is a negative interaction?
Well, again, negative interactions can be anything and they differ from relationship to relationship, but, they can also be very small things with a lasting effect.
So start paying attention to all the little interactions in your relationship and whether they are leaning towards the positive or negative.
Because at the end of the day, how much you have of what does actually matter long-term.
Questions for reflection
- What would you say the ratio is in your relationship right now?
- What are the biggest contributing factors to that?
- What needs to happen to improve your current ratio?
- If you already have a good and healthy ratio, what do you need to do to make sure it stays that way?
- What can you personally do to contribute to a healthy and positive ratio?
- If you have a negative ratio at the moment, what can you start changing or improving today to begin turning that around?
In module 6, our last one in this series, we will look at secret #6 for creating a happy relationship.
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