I’m a firm believer that couples who frequently and often laugh together, stay together.
Why?
Because whenever we are experiencing positive emotions, we tend to associate those emotions with the closest things or people in our environment at that given time.
So, when we are having fun or are laughing together as a couple, we will naturally and unconsciously connect that overwhelming positive experience and emotion with the person we’re with, i.e. our partner or spouse.
Conversely, when we constantly experience negative emotions around our partners or spouses, chances are that we will eventually start connecting those emotions with being around them.
It is, therefore, crucial to continue remembering the good times you’ve shared, both in the past as well as recently.
Talk about and relive them.
Because reminiscing about fun times helps keep couples together.
On this point, I love what Tony Robbins (life coach) said once when you make a statement:
“Do what you did at the beginning of a relationship and there won’t be an end.”
There is so much truth to this idea.
Just think back for a moment to the early days of your relationship. It doesn’t matter how rocky it might be right now, think back to when it started out.
I’m pretty sure that it used to be pretty good. In many different ways of course.
Now, I want you to take it one step further and try and remember back to how YOU saw your partner differently, treated them, spoke about and to them, felt about them, spend time with them, shared things about yourself and your life in your day with them etc …
What do you notice?
I bet if you’re honest, you would have noticed quite a few differences between then and now – true?
Even if you’re in a fairly stable and happy relationship now, you would still have noticed differences between the early days and nowadays.
And that’s exactly the point Tony Robbins was trying to make – if we were to work very hard at doing the things we used to do at the start of our relationship, there wouldn’t be any end to it.
In fact, chances are that levels of satisfaction and happiness will just increase.
So, if you want to improve the levels of happiness in your relationship or marriage moving forward, you have to consider creating some happy, new memories and remind your partner of the great times you’ve already enjoyed.
Laughing together strengthens your relationship in the most vital of ways.
Questions for reflection
- How much do you and your partner laugh together?
- How would you describe the overall atmosphere of your relationship?
- What can you do to improve it?
- What can you do to build on what you already have?
- What things are causing your relationship to feel “heavy?”
- When’s the last time you really enjoyed being with your partner?
- What’s the last great memory you created together?
- When’s the last time you genuinely had fun?
- What’s preventing you from having more fun more regularly?
- How would you describe your sex life – one of fun or chore?
- How are you personally contributing to or detracting from creating a genuinely playful and enjoyable relationship?
In module 5, we will look at secret #5 for creating a happy relationship.
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