by Gideon

September 16, 2015

A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.  –Bruce Lee

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by life. It’s even easier giving up saying, “Stuff it all!” But, there is a better way.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that we all have the inner power to change our lives and create our own destiny.  And it can call happen with something simple as asking yourself some new questions.  You might actually be surprised at how much you can benefit from asking yourself just a couple of new questions! Your questions have the ability to help you determine if you’re on track to reaching your goals or make you see things for what they are.  They can enable you to make action plans that will get you from A to Z instead of just worrying about things.  In this post I want to give you two strange questions that might change how you live life.  Ask yourself these two questions regularly:

1. “If an invisible person followed you around all day, what would they see?” Would they see you wasting a lot of time? Would they see you working at your goals? Would they see someone that is just going through the motions?

Our lives are largely the result of the actions that we take each day – the sum if our daily habits.  Are you taking actions that move you forward to the future you desire or are you engaged in time-wasting, worthless activity?

• What would that invisible person logically conclude about you, your life, and your future?

2. “If you lived that average day, every day, for the next 5 years, what is the logical outcome?” So if you kept living your average day over and over, where is your life likely to end up? Now compare that logical conclusion with the life you’d like to have. How close are they?

• Are you likely to end up where you want to be financially? Are you currently taking consistent action to have the financial life you desire?

• Are you likely to have the body that you want? Are you eating healthily and exercising regularly? Or are you waiting to start tomorrow, or Monday, or the first of the month, or the first of the year? Getting the body you want will take while, so you might as well start today.

• Are you likely to be enjoying the type of relationships you desire? If you want to meet your dream wife, how many new women have you spoken to in the last week? How many have you asked out?

• Are you likely to be advancing in the career you seek? For example, based on your performance over the last year, do you think it’s probable that you’ll get that manager position anytime soon? Are you any closer to having that small business running profitably?

Now you can make some reasonable plans and create some good habits. What do you need to do on a consistent basis to achieve the life you hope for? If you want to lose a few centimeters off your waist and weigh 30kg less, then your daily actions need to reflect that.

People largely fail to end up where they wish to be for two reasons:

1. They have no idea where they’re going. You can’t get there if you don’t know the destination. If you don’t have a plan, you must live by default, sitting around until something goes wrong and then spending your energy fixing the issue. Alternatively, if you spend your energy driving towards something, you’ll eventually get there.

2. They don’t do the things each day that will create the life they want. In spite of what many gurus seem to claim, you can’t wish your way to success. Success is the result of making positive decisions and taking actions that reflect those decisions.

Ask yourself the two strange questions above. You might be shocked when you really look at your average day and realise where you’re likely to end up as a result of doing those same things every day. It doesn’t take a lot to be very successful, but it does take consistency.

For instance, imagine if you did 1 pushup every day this week and added 1 pushup a week. In 5 years you would be doing 250 pushups a day and you would never struggle for a minute.  I used to add 1 push a day until I maxed out – in the end I did about 700+ per week.  Some might look at this and go – that’s nothing! I disagree!  It’s more than what I used to do and I was moving toward my goals, instead of sitting on the couch.

In the same way, establishing daily habits that move you forward toward achieving your goals will result in your success. So which habit will you start today?

PS. Please leave your comments and questions below and I will personally respond to them.

About the author 


Gideon is the Owner of The Relationship Guy, a top-100 marriage advice blog that helps married couples create happier relationships. He is a trained professional counsellor (DipProfCouns., DipMSHT.), has been happily married for over fifteen years and is a dad of two.​ He also holds Bachelor and Master degrees in the field of Theology and is currently studying Psychology at Massey University (New Zealand).

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