by Gideon

October 14, 2016

Transformed people transform people. ~Richard Rohr

Changing your life is possible. In fact, it’s necessary if you want to make a greater impact on the world around you.

But it requires a few key ingredients: a new vision, plan, patience, and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone.

You need to start seeing yourself differently and also be prepared to take on a new path if you want to create new results and transform your life.

Now, here’s some advice right off the bat — if you’ve really struggled with life, it can be really helpful to start small.

Achieving a few small successes will give you the confidence to move forward with larger changes.

I call it, achieving small victories.

how to transform your life in 8 steps

These small wins release dopamine in your brain which is often all you need to get momentum and start creating bigger wins. And nothing motivates like results.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s talk about a simple process you can follow to start transforming your life into one you truly want to live.

8 Step Process
  1. Choose the thing that will have the greatest impact.

Examine your life and think about every change you would like to make. Then put the list in order from the most desirable change to least.

Now, start at the top and look down the list; stop at the first thing you can change in a relatively short period.

In fact, I would encourage you to use the 80/20 rule here.

I truly believe that most of our results in life come from a small percentage of input.

What do I mean by that?

Simply this – 80% of my weight loss problems stem from 20% of my diet.

It’s not ALL of my diet that’s causing me to plateau, but only a few food choices here and there exercise consistently.

So, the glass of red wine … every night … does add up over 365 days.

That’s 85 calories per 100g per evening x 365 days (give or take a few), which equals 31025 calories extra per year.  That equals 8.7lbs or 4kg of fat per year at 3500cal per 1lbs of fat.

how to transform your life in 8 steps

And that’s only wine.

Not much in itself, but if I’m an athlete that needs to shed 10kg to stay competitive, it makes a pretty big difference.

So, choose the thing that will have the greatest impact (20% yielding 80%) which you can change in a short period, and attack it with all you have. Make a change. Small but effective.

2. Set a goal.

What could you achieve in 8-12 weeks around the topic you identified in step #1?

Be bold; you’re far more capable than you think!

Write out specifically what you intend to accomplish, such as, “On or before July 15th, I will have increased my income to $6,000 a month by finding a part-time job.”

The clearer and more specific this is, the better. But keep it simple.

Often times too many goals, however lofty that might seem, will actually kill your chances of success. Less IS more, in this instance.

3. Reflect on what has stopped you.

Something has stopped you so far; figure out what that something is.

Is it a lack of knowledge of how to do it?

Is it fear?

Do you need support?

Do you lack accountability?

how to transform your life in 8 steps

The truth is, capability, is rarely the problem; most likely, you’ll find that fear or doubt is at the root of what has prevented you from aggressively taking action.

Sort these out and you’ll instantly start creating better results.

4. Address the issues in Step #3.

Whatever has been stopping you up to this point isn’t going to go away on its own.

Come up with a plan to eliminate the challenge.

Including simple tools like meditation can boost your success in overcoming these challenges.

A good test is to think about what you’ll have to go through to achieve your goal; if you feel anything but positive and excited, you have some work to do.

This is feedback from your unconscious, so don’t ignore it – use it. It’s a gift.

Get support in the form of a coach or mentor to assist you with this, as an outsider’s point of view can oftentimes give great perspective on the challenges you’re facing. You don’t know what you don’t know, and can therefore not do anything about something you have little or no awareness of. Get support. Pay for it if you have to.

Gideon Hanekom High Performance Consultancy & Personal Development  Life Strategy Coach

5. Review your goal(s) daily (at least).

Continuing to reinforce your goal will maintain its priority in your mind.

Look at it every day and read it aloud. Imagine accomplishing your goal.

The tougher the goal, the more frequently you should reinforce it.

And as I said before, keep it simple. Simpler is best.

Simple, however, does NOT mean small or unimportant.

how to transform your life in 8 steps

Weighing 80kg and being lean and fit while enjoying life, is much easier to visualise, imagine, think about, and keep in mind, than a very long complicated laid-out goal stated in incomprehensible terms 😉

Use pictures if you have to. Our mind responds very well to images.

6. Have a course of action.

A basic plan divided into a list of small steps, or daily activities to accomplish, can be your road map to your goal. Big goals usually require a lot of action steps, but

Big goals usually require a lot of action steps, but you can achieve them by following your map, one step at a time. Make a plan and work the plan.

Make a plan and work the plan.

Keep it simple but effective.

In fact, make “boring” your ally. I found that an effective diet (for example) is oftentimes also boring because it lacks all the bells and whistles.

how to transform your life in 8 steps

I found that an effective diet (for example) is oftentimes also boring because it lacks all the bells and whistles.

Effectiveness trumps cleverness in this instance I believe. I much rather opt for being boring in my approach, and get the result, than having a lot of using

I’d much rather opt for being boring in my approach, and get the result, than having a lot of useless knowledge that I never apply.

7. Track your progress.

It’s important to measure how you’re doing.

For example, if you have a money-related goal, how much have you made so far?

How much time is left until your deadline?

Are you behind or ahead of schedule?

Always know where you stand relative to the achievement of your goal.

Again, a coach or mentor can help you stay on track with this.

8. Don’t stop.

If you don’t quit, you can’t fail. Keep going.

This can be tough but who said transforming your life was going to be easy.

Simple maybe, but not easy.

Not, all the time, anyway.

how to transform your life in 8 steps

But, I know you can do this. If you’re still reading this, you give me hope. You can do this.

Lastly, let me just say — transforming your life is a noble pursuit and one of the most meaningful things you can do for yourself.

But it’s not for the faint of heart.

So, be patient – you’re not going to change everything overnight.

Knock off a few of the easier items first.

The confidence you gain will motivate and guide you through the tougher challenges.

You got this!

And as always, I would love to hear from you.

Leave your comments and questions below as I enjoy reading them.

Sounds good?!


Talk soon

Gideon H.


About the author 


Gideon is the Owner of The Relationship Guy, a top-100 marriage advice blog that helps married couples create happier relationships. He is a trained professional counsellor (DipProfCouns., DipMSHT.), has been happily married for over fifteen years and is a dad of two.​ He also holds Bachelor and Master degrees in the field of Theology and is currently studying Psychology at Massey University (New Zealand).

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