Remaining Connected Takes Effort

Here’s how …

The most important part of a strong relationship between a couple is their ability to communicate.

According to the Gottman Institute, 96% of the time, you can predict the outcome of a conversation based on the first three minutes of the interaction.

Without good communication, a couple really isn’t a couple.

Becoming a couple, and developing a healthy relationship, requires learning more about the other person, engaging them and bonding with them.

All of that requires communication.

Growing together, or apart, hinges on the ability to communicate with each other.

This means that remaining connected over the years takes a little bit of effort.

The Cinderella story was made in fairytale land because in the real world there isn’t a “happily ever after” without putting in the work.

Do couples connect and make it work through their lives?

Do they live with the person they feel they were meant to be with?

Do they sleep each night with the person they love?

Yes! There are couples just like that.

But they know a secret that many do not.

They operate under a secret pact that many couples have chosen to either overlook or decide isn’t a necessary part of being a couple.

They make an effort to stay connected and grow together.


Although the foundation of this effort is a four letter word that most people shy from (WORK), it is a necessary component of the success of any endeavour.

But the work and effort that goes into staying connected should be fun effort and not something that makes you want to get your teeth pulled without anaesthesia.

Make the effort to call your partner a couple of times a week when they least expect it.

Do NOT call when you know they are busy at work – but surprise them with a call in the middle of the afternoon, just to say you love them.

Send a text message once a week that you use just to express your concern, love or to suggest something the two of you could do together as a couple.

Make a date to be with them at least twice a month where you don’t talk about work, the kids, the boss or any other stressful events in your life.

It should be a time away from the realities of life in which you both just enjoy each other’s company.

My wife and I saved money went on a three-day cruise recently, just us, and it was like being newlywed.

Even though we’ve been married for almost 12 years.

The level of connection, intimacy (emotional and physical), and communication was great.

Discover some of the ways that you can communicate with your partner that you appreciate them.

For instance, men appreciate actions more than words and women want to connect with conversation and not action.

Compromise a little and learn your partners love language so they feel cared for and loved.

Learn how to argue and disagree without attacking your partner and by reaching a compromise that works for both of you.

Don’t compromise so you both lose.

Instead, find a solution that works for both of you together.

Respect yours and your partner’s boundaries and expect your partner to respect them too.

Boundaries help you both to identify what works and what doesn’t for both of you.

People who don’t respect boundaries don’t respect themselves and can’t respect you.

Work to build trust between you.

Remember to tell the truth. Don’t lie.

Always do what you say you’re going to do.

Don’t do anything you’re ashamed of telling your partner.

If you are thinking about doing something and you wouldn’t share it with your partner, DON’T do it!

These are just very simple and practical tips, but I hope you found it helpful.

Sometimes the most powerful advice is the simplest.

If you have any relationship questions, please send them to me here at Ask Gideon.

Remember, live and love fully.