June 17, 2021

In this post, guest author Marcus Neo discusses how to rekindle the flame in a relationship that has become stale and feels dry. He specifically looks at three interesting ideas that give a different perspective on the whole issue, namely having a higher calling, leadership, and the sin of predictability.

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Intro

While most men think that their efforts end with the attainment of a partner, but this cannot be further from the truth.

Attracting a woman into a relationship might seem like a herculean task to many.

However, the real challenge actually lies in keeping a woman committed in a relationship. 

The biggest blunder that men make in relationships is being complacent.

This has the effect of making women feel unappreciated and being taken for granted.

It is therefore no surprise that conflicts arise and the relationship becomes dry.

Nonetheless, this does not have to be the case! 

Here’s how to rekindle the flame in your relationship and your success.

Have a Higher Calling

Men have always strived to better themselves because, intuitively, we know that our worth parallels our ability to shape the external environment.

Furthermore, blissful relationships ensue only when a woman feels safe under the parasol of protection that a man provides. 

To that end, men must remain vigilant and unwavering in their pursuit of high achievement.

It is all the more necessary to constantly improve yourself after entering into a relationship.

This can be accomplished by first taking control of your lifestyle.

You should continue to engage in pursuits that are beneficial to your mind and body.

Muscular man exercising with dumbbells in gym

Acquiring knowledge does not simply stop after graduation, neither does exercising.

Compelling examples would be learning a new language or participating in your favourite sporting activity!

Being in the company of other like-minded men will also help tremendously as they will provide accountability for you to achieve your desired outcome.  

Your purpose as a man is your calling above all, neglecting it would provoke disastrous outcomes.

On the other hand, he who heeds his calling will find greater fulfillment in his relationships and unwavering loyalty from his woman. 

Perhaps, more men should consider the maxim:

“What made her attracted to you on the first day will keep her attracted to you in the tenth year.”

Marcus Neo

Become a Natural Leader

In the postmodernist world, women have been emancipated and given many of the rights that were once denied to them.

This has led to the rise in women assuming leadership roles in organisations and civil society. 

couple holding hands walking down the street

While early movements that sought to change the status quo were widely celebrated, modern-day feminism has brought along more cautious undertones.

Many women fundamentally disagree with the changing narrative and still hold to the belief that men should be responsible for leadership in marriages, albeit roles in the corporate world can be more dynamic.

At the most basic level, women desire for strong masculine men who can provide, protect and care for them.

Indeed, there are plenty of intelligent women with PHDs who excel in the world, however they are also not afraid to be a woman in a relationship.

This comes from their realisation that men and women are equal but not the same. 

It is therefore important, as a man, to become the leader in your relationship.

Beautiful girl is sitting at the table in restaurant and smiling while a man is holding roses behind his back

Your girlfriend/ spouse should not have to make any decisions when in your presence, you have to allow her to relax into her feminine and assure her that you will handle everything (which also includes deciding where to go for dinner).

This will further reinforce the masculine-feminine polarity within the relationship and magnify the attraction that your partner has for you. 

Decisiveness is also an extremely attractive trait in leaders because it signals certainty.

Practicing making more decisions, even small ones, will help improve your ability in this aspect.

Trust yourself more and be firm in your decisions, adapt where necessary.

Young couple on a date during walk in the city

Your woman has to be constantly reassured that you are still the attractive man that she fell for, and this can be achieved by being decisive.

Lead!

Predictability is a Sin

Have you ever encountered someone who you couldn’t seem to figure out?

Perhaps, they left you a little  intrigued after just a few moments of interaction.

Initially, they might seem cold, reserved and aloof, while in the next moment, their warmth, depth, and enthusiastic passion permeates the room.

Their personality captivates you and it makes you even more curious as to who this individual is. 

Predictability to women is dull and boring – uncertainty on the other hand is attractive.

Young couple on an off road adventure. Man driving quad bike with girlfriend sitting behind and enjoying the ride in nature.

Women enjoy challenges and they take great pleasure in trying to figure out someone who they cannot easily read.

A man that has mastered the art of variety will thus never fail to amaze her. 

Moreover, we must recognise that women have a wide spectrum of wants, and they vehemently seek out a man who can fulfill their deep-seated desires of experiencing passion and immersion.

Stop being so predictable, tease/ humour her and start making her laugh again!

Definitely, we cannot transform ourselves physically given that we are all constrained by things that are beyond our control.

Nonetheless, an interesting personality can be developed regardless of your perceived limitations because the psychological is more powerful than the physical.

To achieve this, we must learn how to embody multiple patterns of behaviour, even at the same time. 

Portrait of young couple smiling at camera while having fun during play in computer games at home

In one moment you can experiment with being more dominant, overpowering her beyond anything she has ever experienced before.

In the next moment you can choose to be passionate, taking her to greater heights of emotion than she has ever sensed.

You can even embody multiple archetypes at once, for example, being both very emotional and very immersed.

Satisfying her needs in a way that no man has ever done before is a powerful way to make her fall in love with you over and over again. 

Variety can also be applied to the bedroom.

This helps to prevent sex from becoming just a routine, even after years of marriage.

I love him kissing me! Beautiful young loving couple having sex while lying in bed

Your unpredictability in the bedroom will also make one night stands with new lovers seem mundane by comparison, thus effectively eliminating your lover’s desire to be with any other man, except you.

Nonetheless, it is important to understand that unpredictability does not pertain to changing your core values.

Staying true to your enduring beliefs that represent your identity is imperative.

Learning how to be unpredictable merely develops additional facets to your character which provides you with more colour in your personality.

Most importantly, now that you have the information, don’t hold back!

You can shape your relationship to one that you desire, starting today.

About the author 

Marcus Neo

Enjoys writing about dating, relationship, business, and psychology. Introvert yet extrovert. Likes martial arts and music, but never got around to the latter.

Get this Free E-Book

Keep Your Relationship From Breaking Down By Learning 4 Steps To Communicate Better And More Lovingly As Couple!