How do I coach couples to create happier relationships so that they can be less stressed and more fulfilled?
I follow a very simple coaching process, which I often refer to as Healthy Relationship Dynamics Coaching©
Here’s what it looks like in diagram form …
Experience has taught me that people tend to rely on ingrained patterns and habits to help them deal with whatever life throws at them.
The same thing happens in our relationships.
We rely on what we know, not necessarily what works (or could work better).
Therefore, developing a better understanding of how we “work,” first, is crucial for success.
I call this part of the process, developing AWARENESS.
And I have learned that when we create AWARENESS in three (3) areas, in particular, we can shortcut the process to success even more.
These three areas are:
- Learning how to generate the most helpful emotional states.
- Learning about and modelling the patterns, behaviours and habits most happy relationships have in common (i.e. bright spots).
- Becoming aware of and avoiding common toxic relationship patterns of thinking and behaviour (i.e. blind spots)
Consequently, we spend a lot of time in the coaching process discovering, looking at and applying the elements of these three areas.
Once we have a clearer idea of the bigger picture around the requirements for relationship success, I will help you to start committing to more constructive and positive ways of changing the results you are getting in your relationship or marriage right now.
I call this part of the coaching process ACTIVATION.
After you have developed greater AWARENESS and ACTIVATED the new insights, understanding, and behaviour, our coaching sessions will then focus on keeping you on track and helping you grow towards your desired goals.
This is what we call, ACCELERATION.
You can also use the word, “growth.”
But, within the context of a marriage or love relationship, GROWTH has two parts:
- continuous personal growth of each individual, AND,
When these elements are in place, the relationship itself seems to feed off it.
Without continuous growth, there is decay, which usually means the end of something.
You and your partner might be together because you’re genuinely in love, but you are also individuals who need to grow individually and separate from each other.
This will ultimately feed your relationship even more.
It is when we get stuck in unhelpful mindsets and ways of thinking (cognitive distortions) and dysfunctional patterns of behaviour to meet certain wants and needs, that the health of the relationship can suffer.
Partners tend to shift their focus away from serving each other, toward defending or serving themselves, which becomes toxic and destructive.
Furthermore, if one partner grows and the other doesn’t, spouses or partners tend to grow apart.
And growing apart is not the same as growing separately from each other in order to grow as individuals – the latter is necessary – the former is a recipe for marital disaster.
The idea is to grow individually AND collectively, and feed that back into the relationship.
ACCELERATION is about showing, encouraging and keeping you accountable to do just that.
Your success will come from what you do – and not do – outside our sessions.
That’s where the rubber hits the road.
So, if you’re ready to apply for relationship coaching with me, simply go here and fill out the form, and I’ll be in touch.