how to start Creating More Intimacy and Romance In Your marriage Through a climate of Positive effect
From the Desk of
What if you could have a happier, healthier, and more intimate relationship and marriage, starting today?
What would that mean to you?
Your spouse or partner?
What if you could beat the worrying, stress, and frustration so many other unhappy couples experience all the time ... and just be happy?
How would that change your life?
Well, if you’re on this page, you’re in the right place.
Also, if you’re reading this, it means that you’re most likely interested in learning how to do that.
Am I right?
If so, great!
If not, that’s fine too - I will still give you something to think about.
My name is Gideon Hanekom, and I am firstly a husband and dad, and secondly a trained professional counsellor and full-time relationship coach.
I’ve been happily married to my wife for more than 14 years, and we’ve had a journey that has taught us many lessons over that time.
But I’m guessing, that’s not why you’re here …
You’re here because you want to know how you can have more intimacy in your relationship that is lasting.
Or perhaps you want to learn how to overcome certain things that are keeping you from more happiness and fulfilment in your relationship, right now.
And I want to help you with that!
So, if you stick with me for a few moments, you will have more clarity about what to do in your relationship, soon.
Let me share with you an extremely important thing right out of the gate…
Research tells us that a huge amount of unhappy relationships are specifically filled with frustration, stress, and constant worrying.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
You CAN create a happier, healthier, and more intimate relationship that's lasting.
But, if you're like many other couples who are in an unhappy marriage right now, you're probably thinking ... "Yeah, right! How do we do that?"
That's a fair question - one that many of the couples I have coached in past have asked and struggled with.
And like I’ve said many times before, there isn’t an easy answer or one particular right way of “fixing” your relationship.
Simply because we are all different.
In saying that, when it comes to creating a healthy relationship, there is one thing all of us have to do.
Irrespective of the fact that we are unique from each other.
And this one thing might seem simple but it’s definitely not easy to do … especially if you feel trapped in an unhealthy relationship at the moment.
Earlier, I talked about certain fundamental principles all couples have to adhere to if they want to create lasting intimacy in their marriage or relationship.
This one thing is one of those foundational “laws”.
But before I tell you what this one thing is that you can start doing today, let me share with you three core, fundamental truths that no couple can escape.
Now, I’m not going to go into each of these truths too deeply, but I will give them to you as food for thought …
TRUTH #1 - Truly Happy Relationships Don’t Happen by Chance or Accident
This is such an important reality to keep in mind, that I cannot emphasise is enough.
If you want to create lasting intimacy and love in your relationship, it is vital to understand that it won’t happen by chance or accident, just because you want it.
Creating a truly happy relationship comes down to motivation, commitment, focus, and consistent action.
But it also comes down to doing the things that work.
TRUTH #2 - Happy Couples Do Things Differently from Unhappy Couples
It is extremely important to understand that couples in happy relationships are by no means luckier, smarter, more special or intelligent than those in unhappy relationships.
The big difference, however, is in how happy couples do certain things.
And by the same token, it also comes down to the things they avoid doing.
When you put people in happy relationships in unhappy relationships side-by-side, without knowing anything about them, it would be virtually impossible to tell which is which.
Because from the outside, all of us look fairly similar.
However, certain experts can tell within the first five minutes of observing certain couples discussing certain issues, not just whether that couple has problems, but also how likely they are to divorce in the long run.
And it all comes down to observing differences in behaviour and interaction.
How you do things as a couple makes all the difference in the quality of your relationship and life in the long run.
TRUTH #3 - It Is Infinitely Easier to Create a Happy Relationship When a Couple Is Happy in Themselves
So many couples make the mistake of looking to their partners to make them happy.
But that’ s a mistake.
Nobody else is supposed to make us happy.
I want you to read that again …
I’ m not saying that your partner shouldn’t make you happy …
What I am saying however is that it is not your partner’s responsibility to make you happy, if you’ re unhappy in yourself.
It is your responsibility.
The moment we make our happiness someone else’ s responsibility, we’re making to life-defining mistakes:
Therefore, if you want to have any chance of creating more intimacy that is lasting in your marriage, you absolutely must take responsibility for your own levels of happiness.
Not only will it set you up for future success, but it will also put your relationship in the best possible position to create and sustain happiness in the long term.
With all of that being said, I mentioned ONE THING you can do, starting today, that will help you create a happier, healthier, and more intimate relationship that lasts.
Are you ready to discover what it is?
The ONE THING that will make all the difference in the quality of your relationship and its future is what I call:
A Climate of Positive Effect
Let me explain it to you in simple language …
Imagine swimming in mud.
Imagine how hard it is trying to make any headway because of the density and stickiness of the mud.
Even if you’ re a great swimmer with great cardiovascular fitness, imagine how long it would take for you to tire.
Probably not that long.
Now imagine swimming in clear, clean water.
Imagine how easy it is to swim effortlessly, comfortably, and covering a lot of distance over time.
In fact, you’ d most likely cover more distance because you be able to swim for longer.
In this instance, the water becomes your friend rather than a restriction.
And when you get tired, you can simply turn on your back and float until you’ve recovered somewhat, before swimming further.
This analogy is the difference between surviving in an unhealthy relationship and thriving in a healthy relationship.
And the best way to create a healthy relationship that is easy to thrive in, is by creating an environment or climate that has a positive effect.
A climate that is filled with more positive experiences than negative, more love than criticism, more happiness than frustration, more joy than unhappiness, more acceptance than judgement, more patience than impatience, more peace than conflict, and more intimate connection than emotional disconnect.
Now, even though that might seem like a daunting task for you right now, I can assure you that it’ s not.
When you create a Climate of Positive Effect, everything else becomes so much easier and simpler.
I’ve seen this happen over and over again … couples try to create a healthier relationship while “ swimming in the mud”.
But that’ s tiring, exhausting, and futile.
There is no point to it, apart from creating more fatigue, stress, worry, frustration, and ultimately burnout.
Happy couples are not necessarily better “ swimmers” than couples in unhappy relationships …
The big difference, however, is that couples in happy relationships have created a relationship that is like clear, clean water to swim in.
It becomes infinitely easier to do that.
And so, the ONE THING that you must focus on if you want to create more intimacy in your relationship that lasts, is putting the things in place that will give you the best chance of creating a climate of positive effect.
Now, again, at this point, I can hear many of you saying: “That’ s a great, but HOW do we do that?”
It is an excellent question and one that I have reflected on for a long time, and have wrestled with a lot together with many couples.
So, over the last year or what, I’ve started working with a very specific step-by-step framework to help couples create a more positive effect in their relationships.
It is very simple to follow and very practical to implement.
It takes all the guesswork out of everything.
In fact, I outline this exact step by step framework in my book, but let me just give you a 30,000-ft view here (if you haven’ t seen it before):
Take control of your own levels of happiness. Learn and understand what and how you need to take self-control before you can make any positive and lasting changes in your relationship.
Recommit to your relationship. Deal with the issue of commitment, because without it, it’s over even before it’s begun.
Get clarity on where things are at and what each of you wants specifically within your relationship. Without clarity, you cannot reach any destination.
Create a climate of positive effect. Create an optimal environment (climate) for relationship satisfaction and fulfilment in your marriage, based on our primary human desires and needs.
Create connection. Understand how to create a deep connection between a man and a woman with very specific gender-specific action steps. Without connection you don’ t have intimacy. Without intimacy, you’ve got nothing.
Communicate effectively. Learn what communication is and is not, and also how to communicate effectively with one another in the best possible way to resolve issues and achieve outcomes, without getting tracked in a perpetual cycle of unnecessary and pointless fighting.
Men and women typically communicate differently, especially when it comes to stress-related issues. Understanding this will help your communication immensely.
Listen, there are probably a hundred things you could be doing to fix your marriage, but these are the steps I would start with to make the quickest impact with the most lasting effect.
But, like I said this is just a birds-eye view.
So, if you found this helpful, go check out my book to dive deeper into this.
It's all about learning a step-by-step FRAMEWORK for creating more intimacy in your relationship.
Here are some Of The things you'll learn:
Here's what to do next...
The book is only 87 pages but it's most likely very different from anything you've read on relationships before because it's a step-by-step framework for creating lasting intimacy and romance.
I have cut out most of the fluff, shared only a couple of examples and stories, but it's mostly life-changing concepts and practical strategies.
So, if you found this post helpful, you'd definitely find this book great - grab your copy now.
Also, if you get this book now, I will give you access to my other book as a BONUS!
There is no catch!
I know that there are many websites out there that offer you a great deal on something, but then immediately switch it up by selling you on something more.
We call it "bait and switch".
They also tend to try and get you into some hidden "membership program" you just have to try ... if you want to get the most out of the book you've just bought, that is.
This is not anything like that.
There are no strings attached.
There are no up sells from here.
I'm not going to get you into any membership program (I don't even have one right now).
I'm simply giving you access to my step-by-step framework that I use with my coaching clients, for you to use at a fraction of the cost.
And for the sake of being completely transparent and honesty:
I'm giving you this entire book as a means to show you that I truly care about people and to demonstrate real value.
My aim and hope is to help you.
Without locking you into anything sinister or long-term.
Unless ... You want me to, of course.
So, again, if you found this helpful and want to learn more about my Step-by-Step Framework for Couples, click the button below and grab your copy.
This is truly NOT a limited offer but claim your copy now because why wait to fix your marriage and create lasting intimacy?
Thanks for taking the time to read this letter and I look forward to hearing from you soon!
PS. If you're like me, and many other people, you most likely skipped to the bottom to find out how much this is gonna cost and what the deal is ...
Don't worry, no judgement here!
So this is what's up ...
I am offering you a 87 page book that teaches you my step to step framework for creating lasting romance in your life.
It is simple.
It is filled with practical strategies and principles.
And it only costs $8.60 (New Zealand dollars).
I'm also adding my bonus book called "How to Save My Marriage with One Simple Strategy".
This is NOT a limited offer because your downloading a PDF and it is unlimited.
But your time is not ...
It makes no sense wanting to know how to create a happier, healthier, and more intimate relationship ... only to then wait to find out how.
There is also no "catch" offers after this.
There are no up sells after this.
There are no continuity programs you can join.
I am not locking you into anything.
In fact, if you don't like the book (or bonus book), you can just let me know and I'll give you back your $8.60.
And you can keep both books.
So if you're ready, just click the button below and I'll take you to the download page.
Please understand that any results I'm sharing with you are not typical. I’m not implying you’ll duplicate them, get any similar results, fix your marriage, or do anything for that matter. I have been happily married to my wife for over fourteen years, have learned many valuable lessons only married life can teach, have studied relationship dynamics for a long time, and have worked with many different couples. I am not average in this regard. The average person who buys any “how to” information gets little to no results and for many different reasons. I’m just using any examples or results as references for example purposes only. Your results will vary and depend on many factors … including but not limited to your situation, mental health, background, experience, and committed action. Any marriage and love relationship entails some sort of risk ... you're sharing a life with another unique individual after all. If you're not willing to accept that, please DO NOT GET THIS BOOK!