December 6

Are you Focused on Making Progress or Staying Stuck?

What are you focused on? Many people seriously believe they’re making progress in their lives or business because they’re working hard.  But honestly, they are simply BS-ing themselves. A good way to predict the direction of your life is to measure how much of your time you’re spending actually trying to enhance it. Then consider how much of your time is spent just maintaining the status quo, which I call, staying stuck. What I’ve learned is there are two kinds of people: those with a story and those who simply get on with it. The latter realises they want a better result, so they go after it. The former also realise they want something more, but they spend all their time telling a story about why they can’t or don’t have it. So the question today is, are you focused on making progress or staying stuck in your life?

Many people believe they want something better and are genuinely working hard to accomplish it.

But in most cases, they’re expending a lot of mental energy wishing, fantasizing, telling a story, and worrying even though none of these are reliable ways to enhance your life.

Let me ask you straight up,

What have you done so far this week that will take your life to the next level or closer to that result you want?

If you’re like most people, you haven’t done much.

You have probably thought about it. Perhaps, you’ve even talked to someone about it. You might have even gotten yourself to a point to actually make a start.

But, in the end, nothing happened.

The truth is change is challenging, because there’s uncertainty. And familiarity is comforting, even if you’re unhappy.

In fact, most people naturally gravitate toward the familiar even if they’re miserable.

But, if you want to make progress and achieve the results you desire in your life, you have to become comfortable with the prospect of change.

If you want to improve your marriage, you must become comfortable with having the tough conversations until they become easy conversations.

If you want to lose weight, you have to become comfortable talking about your weight, your current size, fat percentage, food choices, health, and what needs to happen for you to turn things around.

If you want to improve your business or career, you have to become comfortable with uncertainty, working against feelings of low self-confidence, dealing with conflict, and working more than relaxing.

It doesn’t matter what we’re talking about or which result you want, the principle remains the same.

People who make progress in their lives are okay with experiencing some discomfort and uncertainty (even if it’s just for a little while).

It won’t be any different for you, no matter what you want right now.

So be brave enough to create the change you desire, and stop talking about how crap things are for you at the moment!

Take note of these following points:

  1. Working hard isn’t enough.

If you’re working hard on the wrong things, you’ll never see any progress.

Effort matters, but only if you’re spending your time wisely.

If you want to see real change, it’s necessary to spend time doing constructive things above and beyond what is required to live your current life.

Listen, whatever you’re doing right now is just good enough to get you the results you’re getting at the moment.

The way you think, feel, behave, react, dream, worry, fear … it’s all perfectly working together to get you what you have right now.

People who are fit and healthy do it as a lifestyle — not every now and again when they feel like it. They train. They eat well. They drink very little alcohol. They get outside.

That is the price of admission.

People who are financially better off “do money'” different from most also — they are focused, have multiple streams of income, use their talents and skills to add more value to the marketplace than just their 9-5, they save and use the law of compounding to their advantage, they keep their spending habits in check, and they invest more in assets than liabilities. They also work way smarter with their taxes than the average person. They read and learn constantly to up-skill themselves. They work more than they relax. They eat dinner before they enjoy dessert.

That is the price of admission.

What price are you paying for your dreams at moment?

2. Have you learned anything new lately?

Learning new information can help to create change, if you use the information.

But what are you doing instead of learning?

When was the last time you read a book that could inspire you or improve an important skill in your life or business?

When was the last time you attended a workshop or seminar?

When was the last time you sat down with a high-performance coach or mentor to look at your status quo, goals and plan for the next 6 to 12 months?

If you haven’t done any of these lately, what are you doing instead of leaning?

Watching the same TV shows?

Relaxing on the couch seven nights a week?

Playing online video games?

Getting lost on social media or watching funny cat clips on YouTube?

Or are you simply maintaining the status quo?

You have no idea how many people tell me, when asked these questions, that they are not into reading, they haven’t attended any course recently, and they don’t like spending money on coaches.

And that’s all good and well.

However, it’s these same people that have so much to complain about and are constantly stuck in their lives.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again — successful people (however you measure success) do things differently from unsuccessful people. 

And one of the most significant things they do differently, is constantly learning and growing either their knowledge, skills or experiences.

The fact is, new information leads to new understandings, which helps you think in a new way, manage your emotions in a different way, and behave in a new way that can actually guarantee you better results.

3. Are you spending time with anyone new?

Hanging out with the same people each day is another good way to ensure that nothing changes!

New people can change your perspective and introduce you to new ideas, and this is important for the reasons mentioned before.

We all think and behave from a certain mental blueprint.  This blueprint has been created over the years. The only way to upgrade it, is by introducing new concepts, ideas, perspectives, beliefs and rules to it.

And the fastest way we do that, is by exposing ourselves to new people.

But again, so many people resist this idea or come up with the reasons why it’s impossible to meet new people.

“I’m stuck at home with the kids.”

“I’m too busy at work.”

“I don’t know where to meet new people.”

“People don’t like me.”

And on and on it goes.

Listen, we live in one of the most exciting times in history.

The Internet has made the world a very small place.

You don’t have to leave your house,  if you don’t want or unable to, to connect with people from all around the world.

The only sad part is, in my experience, many people use the Internet for silly things rather than empowering their lives.

They opt to hang out on porn sites or chat groups or watch young girls strip live on camera, rather than watch free life changing presentations on TED talk (YouTube).

They choose to play online video games rather than work with a great life coach, online, to improve their life.

If you are reading this post, that means you have access to the Internet, which further means you have the means to connect with all the right people that can help you transform your life or business starting right now. And much of it is FREE!

Chuck out the excuses, divorce the story, and marry the truth.

4. Are you doing anything new?

I love working out and training in the gym or on the athletics track.

However, because I exercise every day, my body has gotten used to it by now. This means that unless I keep changing my workout routines I won’t gain as much as before.

The same gym workout repeated over and over again will ensure that you neither gain nor lose ground.

This principle holds water for all other areas of life also.

The same behaviours practiced over and over deliver the same, reliable results. However, if you want to scale your results, you need to mix it up.

Going into the same job and providing the same effort ensures the same paycheck.

Thinking the same thoughts results in the same actions.

Same hobbies? No changes coming.

You have to do something different for different results.

Like I said before, what you’re doing right now is only good enough for getting you what you have at the moment.

5. What did you do today?

At the end of each day, ask yourself two questions:

  • “If I lived this same day over and over for the next 20 years, what would my finances, health, social life, and relationships look like?”
  • “Did I do anything today to take my life to the next level, or did I ensure that nothing will change in the future?”

Write your answers down for the next 30 days, and then go through them. See if you can spot patterns. Also notice what your answers are telling you.

The answers to these two questions can predict your future better than you think.

6. Do you have goals?

Do you measure your progress?

Remember, you cannot manage what you don’t measure!

That’s why you need specific, measurable, timely, written down goals.

Goals are nothing more than desired changes. If you have goals and you’re making progress towards them, you can also expect to see progress in your life in general.

However, by default, you’re choosing to stay stuck if you don’t have concrete written down goals. Any changes you experience will be due to random chance.

Most people claim they want a better life, but few are doing anything to make it happen. It’s easier to wish than to face uncertainty, fear, and discomfort.

Don’t be one of those people. Be different!

In conclusion …

If you feel you’re working hard but failing to gain any ground, spend some time each day doing something that will give you the chance to accomplish something new in the future.

It doesn’t matter what it is.

You can reflect on your goals for five minutes every morning and evening.

Or you can read one chapter in a book every day.

You can watch  a good training video on YouTube.

Get a high-performance coach to help you clarify some of your goals.

Just do something that can move help you make progress.

The more time you spend this way, the more progress you’ll make toward the life you desire.

I hope this served you in some way today.

Please leave your comments and questions below, or get in touch with me at

To your success,

Gideon H.




Are you Focused on Making Progress or Maintain the Status Quo, Are you Focused on Making Progress or Staying Stuck?, focused, Gideon Hanekom, progress,

About the author
Gideon Hanekom

Gideon Hanekom is a relationship coach and the creator of The Relationship Guy – a Top Marriage Coaching and Relationship Advice Blog that helps married couples create healthier relationships. He is a trained professional counsellor and one of New Zealand’s top relationship bloggers and coaches. He’s been happily married for over fourteen years and is a dad of two.​ He also holds Bachelor and Master degrees in the field of Theology and is currently studying post-graduate Psychology at Massey University.

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